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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Feb the 6th 2010
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Another Saturday Night |
| Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes? Gives em something to do on Saturday night! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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A Lesbian Visits the Doctor |
| A lesbian goes to her doctor for her annual physical.
After the doctor completes the physical, she says, "You can
get dressed now. Your test results will be back in a few
days. Stop by my office and I'll review the exam I just gave
you."
When the patient gets to the office, the doctor says, "Well,
you seem to be in perfect health. I couldn't find a thing
wrong in my exam. Furthermore, I'd like to compliment you on
your excellent personal hygiene. I have hundreds of patients,
and I can't think of a one of them who keeps her genital area
so clean and fresh."
The patient says, "Well, there's a perfectly good reason for
that . . . you see, I have a woman in at least three times a
week." |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Knock Knock Collection 017 |
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Arnie!
Arnie who!
Arnie having fun?
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Arnold!
Arnold who?
Arnold friend you haven't seen for years!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Arthur!
Arthur who!
Arthur any more biscuits in the tin!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Asa!
Asa who!
Asa-int amongst men!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ashley!
Ashley who?
Ashley-t's foot!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Dear John |
Dear John,
I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.
All my love,
Judi xxxxoooxxxx
P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Sometime after Sidney died, his widow, Tillie, was finally able to speak about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been. "Sidney thought of everything," she told them. "Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside. He handed me three envelopes.
’Tillie’, he told me, ’I have put all my last wishes in these three envelopes. After I am dead, please open them and do exactly as I have instructed. Then I can rest in peace.’"
"What was in the envelopes?" her friends asked.
"The first envelope contained \$5,000 with a note, ’Please use this money to buy a nice casket.’ So I bought a beautiful mahogany casket for him.
"The second envelope contained \$10,000 with a note, ’Please use this for a nice funeral.’ I made Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favorite foods for when we began shiva."
"And the third envelope?" asked her friends.
"The third envelope contained \$25,000 with a note, ’Please use this to buy a nice stone.’
At that point, Tillie held up her hand and pointed to her ring finger, on which was a ten carat diamond ring.
"So," said Tillie, "You like my stone?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blondie said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them. |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Doctor, Doctor I think I am suffering from De-ja vu.
Didn't I see you yesterday?
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Judi was walking by the jewelry store one day in the midtown mall. She saw a diamond bracelet that she really liked. In the store she went.
"Excuse me," she said to the sales lady behind the counter, "Will a small deposit hold that bracelet until my husband does something unforgivable?"
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Permalink | Source : Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| Don’t joke about Hillary Clinton and PMS - she’s the Secretory of State! |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 3.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Substitute for Women |
A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women."
"Yeah what happened?" asked the other.
The first guy replies, "Well, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle." |
Permalink | Source : Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
Rating: 2.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the
window saying:
"HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must
be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and
went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then
walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office
manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However,
the dog looked determined, so he led him into the office. Inside, the dog
jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said, "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to
type."
The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a
perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and
gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog, "The sign says you have to
be good with a computer."
The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to
demonstrate his expertise with various programs and produced a sample
spreadsheet and database and presented them to the manager.
By this time the manager was totally dumbfounded! He looked at the dog and
said, "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some
interesting abilities. However, I still can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the
part about being an Equal Opportunity Employer.
The manager said, "Yes, but the sign also says that you have to be
bilingual."
The dog looked at him straight in the face and said, "Meow." |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 4.4/10 (7 votes cast) |
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