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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, Feb the 16th 2010
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NOTE:
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check funny videos and funny photos you have missed due to issue, using << Previous 'jokes of the day' link.
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Camera’s Up Here, Dude |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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The Bill Clinton Sale |
Q: Did you hear about the Bill Clinton sale at clothing stores on Presidents Day?
A: All pants half off. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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volkswagon |
| What do you call four blondes in a Volkswagon?
Far-from-thinkin'. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 6.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Real News Headlines 13 |
Here are a few genuine news bloopers gleaned from American newspapers. These were taken from an article by Richard Lederer, author of "Anguished English".
On behalf of Barbara Rutledge and her family, our sincere thanks go out to those sending flowers, cards and contributing to the death of her husband.
The airplane was only a few feet from the ground when it crashed, witnesses said.
With the exception of victimless crimes (which need not concern us here), every single crime committed in this nation of ours involves a victim.
A purple lady's bicycle was missing from Serendipity Lane recently.
Chairman Billings asked Board members to muster support from parent-teacher groups to support the governor's task force on driving while intoxicated.
He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but Simon Wynne has been kicked off the ESU basketball team after being arrested and accused of driving a parked car while intoxicated.
Montreal police don't hesitate to use whatever laws, regulations or persuasion they feel they need to control morality in the city and prevent it from getting a foothold.
A college friendship that began a year ago ended in matrimony yesterday.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the cooker and the fridge.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.0/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Cow on the track! |
A passenger train is creeping along, painfully slowly. Finally, it creaks to a complete halt.
A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside.
"What's going on?" she yells out the window.
"Cow on the track!" replies the conductor.
Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again.
The woman sees the same conductor walking by again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
"You can understand why this lawyer fellow let his guard down, because if you're out hunting with a politician, you think, 'If I'm going to get it, it's going to be in the back.'" -- Craig Ferguson
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Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Compassion With an Umbrella
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A Western Buddhist woman was in India, studying with her teacher. She was riding with another woman friend in a rickshaw-like carriage, when they were attacked by a man on the street. In the end, the attacker only succeeded in frightening the women, but the Buddhist woman was quite upset by the event and told her teacher so. She asked him what she should have done - what would have been the appropriate, Buddhist response.
The teacher said very simply, "You should have very mindfully and with great compassion whacked the attacker over the head with your umbrella." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 3.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Truck Stop |
A trucker came into a truck stop cafe and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and pair of running boards."
The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards. What does he think this place is, an auto parts store?"
"No," the cook said. "Three flat tires mean three pancakes, a pair of headlights is two eggs sunny side up, and running boards are 2 slices of crisp bacon."
"Oh, OK!" said the blonde. She thought about it for a moment and then spooned up a bowl of beans and gave it to the customer.
The trucker asked, "What are the beans for, Blondie?"
She replied, "I thought while you were waiting for the flat tires, headlights and running boards, you might as well gas up!"
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Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 3.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
Teacher: I wish you'd pay a little attention
Pupil : I'm paying as little as i can, sir. |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
Officer: Do you know why I stopped you, son?
Driver: Cause you thought I had some doughnuts? |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
"Can you explain to me how this lipstick got on your collar?" the suspicious wife sneered.
"No, I can't," the husband replied. "I distinctly remember taking my shirt off."
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Permalink | Source : Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
Rating: 3.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
If the group included a garbage man, they would have been the Swillage People. Their music was trashy anyway.
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Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 2.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, he looked at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between pages.
"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered:
"It's Adam's suit!!!!!" |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 5.1/10 (10 votes cast) |
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Reward for Goodness #jokes #humor |
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.
The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie....Hell is waiting for you.
To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife." The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation.
To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?" The second man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife twice." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four- bedroom house and a BMW.
To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?" The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times." The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation.
A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out. "Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!" The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"
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Permalink | Source : Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
Rating: 4.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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