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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, Feb the 17th 2010
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NOTE:
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check funny videos and funny photos you have missed due to issue, using << Previous 'jokes of the day' link.
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Heated Debate Over Usefulness Of Pennies |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : There I fixed it - photos of ur handiwork!
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Government vs. Mafia |
| Whats the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Men Writing The Rules |
If Men Were to Rewrite "The Rules"
Rule # 1 Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days.
Rule # 2 If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
Rule # 3 It is in neither your best interest nor ours to make us take those stupid Cosmo quizzes together.
Rule # 4 You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done -- not both.
Rule # 5 Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials or time-outs.
Rule # 6 Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
Rule # 7 When we're turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the ramp, you saying "This is our exit" is not necessary.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the cooker and the fridge.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 4.0/10 (7 votes cast) |
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Super Sex!!! |
A woman, completely fed up with her husband's on-line obsession, finally takes matters into her own hands.
One night, as he is sitting at the computer, she goes into the bedroom, takes off all her clothes, puts on a full length mink coat, and posts herself between her husband and the monitor.
She pulls open the coat and yells, "Time for Super Sex!!!"
He ignores her.
So, she repeatedly yells, "Super Sex", "Super Sex", "Super Sex".
Finally, he replies, "Ok, Ok, I'll take the soup". |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
Whenever John wanted to have sex he would say to Mary "Lets do some laundry, honey".
Well one day Mary felt horny so she said to John "Honey, how about doing some laundry?"
John replied "No thanks honey, I only had a small load so I did it by hand. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 1.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Fig Leaf Found
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A little boy opened the large old family Bible, and he looked with fascination at the ancient pages as he turned them one by one.
He was still in Genesis when something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely. It was a very large old tree leaf that had been pressed between the pages of the Bible long ago."Momma, look what I found!" the boy called out.
"What do you have there?" his mother asked.
With astonishment in his voice, the young boy answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 2.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
Teacher: Give me a sentence with the word "INDISPOSITION" in it.
Pupil : I always play center in baseball because I like playing
"in dis position!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A guy walking down a street one afternoon passes an old man sitting on the side of the road with a large sack.
The younger guy says to the old man, "Watcha got in the sack?"
The old man responds, "I got some monkeys in that there sack."
The younger man asks, "If I guess how many monkeys you got in the sack, can I keep one?"
The old man replies, "Son, if you guess how many monkeys I got in this sack, I'll give you both of 'em!"
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 2.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
While going out for a ride with his young daughter, a doctor notices the little girl playing with his stethoscope.
He becomes excited, thinking "My daughter is going to follow in my footsteps!"
The girl speaks into the stethoscope like a microphone, "Welcome to Burger King, may I take your order please?"
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Permalink | Source : Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| Elite hunters can kill pigeons with a bow and arrow in pitch darkness. They do it by studying a coo sticks. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 3.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
We noticed that all the waiters in this New York
restaurant carried two spoons in their vest
pocket. Naturally, we were curious. We asked a
waiter why.
'Sir, as a result of an efficiency study by the
management, it was determined that the most
frequently dropped silverware item was a spoon.
Therefore, all the waiters carry two spoons so
that the item can be instantly replaced.'
As he was explaining that we noticed a string
hanging out of the fly of his pants. So, we asked
about that.
'Sir, that's another efficiency study result.
When we have to go to the bathroom, we use the
string to pull ourselves out and aim. Therefore,
we do not have to stop to wash our hands.'
We replied, 'I understand how you can get yourself
out and aim, but how do you get yourself back in.'
'Well,' replied the waiter, 'I don't know about
the other guys, but I use the two spoons!' |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 4.4/10 (12 votes cast) |
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New Cop |
The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.
"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.
"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."
"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown
and sit a while till the sarge gets back."
"But, officer, I think you really should know..."
"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"
A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said,
"Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding.
He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."
"Don't count on it," shot back the sap in the cell. "I'm the groom."
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Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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