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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Mar the 6th 2010
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NOTE:
Last couple of days issue was noticed with funny video and funny image representation
on some browsers (internet explorer and opera). It is fixed now, so please feel free to
check funny videos and funny photos you have missed due to issue, using << Previous 'jokes of the day' link.
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Milton Isn’t Going To Like This… |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : There I fixed it - photos of ur handiwork!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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Natasha Leggero: Male Comics |
| Male comics are always coming up to me, and theyre like, Hey, Natasha, dont you think youre a little attractive to be a comedian? And Im like, Dont you think youre a little ugly to be talking to me? |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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Determining sex |
| Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast)
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Public School Dangers |
The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Sunday, November 29, 1992
An investigation by the Dallas Morning News revealed the city's public schools employ at least 185 people who have been convicted of felonies, including two convicted murderers.
In response, the school superintendent promised that the city would begin periodic records checks.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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| While driving down the road a motorist passed a fairground and he noticed a fortune teller sitting under a canopy outside, laughing and smiling. The motorist drove on for a couple of miles down the road then spun his car around and sped back toward the fortune teller. He pulled up next to the woman, jumped out of his car and suddenly began slapping and beating her."What are you doing?" asked the injured woman. The man replied: "Well, I've always wanted to strike a happy m
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast)
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Signs Your Wife Might Be Having An Affair With Santa . . . |
Instead of mailing your kids letters to santa, she just stuffs them in her bra
She smells kinda like a combination of peppermint sticks and reindeer chow
For christmas, your kids get something called "The Your Daddy SUCKS Doll"
She refers to your bed as "Santa's Workshop"
Paramedics had to use the jaws of life to jar her outta the chimney
When you ask for sex she says: "Not tonight--visions of sugarplums are dancing in my head" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No."
A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"
"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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Three Proofs that Jesus Was...
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THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS JEWISH He went into his father's business He lived at home until he was 33 He was sure his Mother was a virgin, and his Mother was sure he was God
MORE...
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS IRISH He never got married He was always telling stories He loved green pastures
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS PUERTO RICAN His first name was Jesus He was bilingual He was always being harassed by the authorities
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS ITALIAN He talked with his hands He had wine with every meal He worked in the building trades
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS BLACK He called everybody "brother" He liked Gospel He couldn't get a fair trial
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A CALIFORNIAN He never cut his hair He walked around barefoot He started a new religion
THREE PROOFS THAT JESUS WAS A WOMAN He had to feed a crowd, at a moments notice, when there was no food. He kept trying to get the message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. Even dead, he had to get up because there was more work for him to do. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast)
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A frog goes into a bank and hops up to a teller. He can see from her name plate that she is called Patricia Whack,
so he says "Ms. Whack, I'd like to borrow \$30,000, please."
The teller asks for his name and the frog replies that he is Kermit Jagger, son of Mick Jagger, and a personal friend of the bank manager. Unconvinced, Ms. Whack explains she will need some identity and also some security against his loan. The frog produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant and hands it to her.
The confused teller says she will have to consult with her manager. 'There's a frog called Kermit Jagger at the counter who wants to borrow \$30,000," she tells her boss. "And what do you think this elephant is about?"
The manager looks back at her and says "It's a knick-knack, Patti Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.' |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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A man phones home from his office and says to his wife, "I have the chance to go fishing for a week. It's the opportunity of a lifetime. I have to leave right away. Pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas. I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
The man rushes home to grab everything. He hugs his wife, apologizes for the short notice, and then hurries off.
A week later, the man returns and his wife asks, "Did you have a good trip, dear?"
The man replies, "Yep, the fishing was great...but you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
His wife smiles and says, "Oh, no I didn't...I put them in your tackle box. |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 6.0/10 (3 votes cast)
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| Female court jesters in the Middle Ages often suffered from minstrel cramps. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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Subjects for a date #joke #humor |
A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice.
The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy."
The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds.
He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic.
He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns.
After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again.
The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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Permalink | Source : Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast)
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