Jokes of the day for Sunday, 11 April 2010

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 11 April 2010
  • Currently 9.49/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (69)

Chicken Farmer

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too! "
"What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me, I'm celebrating."
"This is a special day for me, too, and I'm also celebrating!," says the woman.
"What a coincidence," says the man. As they clinked glasses he asked, "What are you celebrating?"
"My husband and I have been trying to have a child, and today my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man. "I'm a chicken farmer. For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally laying fertilized eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?"
"I switched cocks," he replied.
She smiled and said, "What a coincidence!"
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

Debate about the box

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are trying to set up a fenced-in area for some sheep, but they have a limited amount of building material. The engineer gets up first and makes a square fence with the material, reasoning that it's a pretty good working solution.
"No no," says the physicist, "there's a better way." He takes the fence and makes a circular pen, showing how it encompasses the maximum possible space with the given material.
Then the mathematician speaks up: "No, no, there's an even better way." To the others' amusement he proceeds to construct a little tiny fence around himself, then declares:
"I define myself to be on the outside."
#joke
Joke | Source: Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Funny video of the day - Funny video of the day Sunday, 11 April 2010

Funny video of the day Sunday, 11 April 2010 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Pete and Larry had not seen ea...

Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."
"Great. Where do you live?"
"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."
"Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?"
"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed."
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

Patient: "Nurse, I just swallo...

Patient: "Nurse, I just swallowed my pillow!"
Nurse: "How do you feel?"
Patient: "A little down in the mouth"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The day - Used to be - Australian Joke of the day - site changed purpose and no longer serves jokes
  • Currently 4.63/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Paper Company Name Fail

Paper Company Name Fail | Source : Fail blog - Epic Fail Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (12)

Free Commandments

God first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
"What's a commandment?" they asked.
"Well, it's like, THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied God.
The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."
So then God went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
They also asked, "What's a commandment?"
"Well," said God, "It's like, THOU SHALL NOT STEAL."
The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."
So finally God went to the Israelites and asked them if they wanted a commandment.
They asked, "How much?"
God said, "They're free."
The Israelites said, "Great! We'll take ten!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

A man is driving up a steep, n...

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "WITCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road. If only men would listen.
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 4.90/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (10)

Find number abc

If bc17a - 6a575 = 255cb find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Family letters...

Dear dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you like you can $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love, Your $on.

*****************************************

Dear son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even a hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Love, Dad.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Actual Answer from a Medical Student

While making his rounds, a doctor points out an x-ray to a group of medical students.

“As you can see,” he says, “the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched.”

The doctor turns to one of the students and asks, “What would you do in a case like this?”

“Well,” ponders the student, “I suppose I’d limp, too.”

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.81/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (21)

Demetri Martin: Bumper Stickers

A lot of people dont like bumper stickers. I dont mind bumper stickers. To me, a bumper sticker is a short cut. Its like a little sign that says, Hey, lets never hang out.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (9)

A bishop, a boy scout and the ...

A bishop, a boy scout and the Brain of Britain were passengers in a small plane. The pilot announced serious trouble and asked everyone to leave the aircraft. However, there were only two parachutes, so the bishop suggested that as he was the oldest, he should stay behind. The scout said: "Don't worry sir! There are still two parachutes. The Brain of Britain has jumped using my haversack!"
#joke
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (38)

His Military Etiquette


Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again.
Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 February 2010
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (6)

A lawyer walks into a bar and ...

A lawyer walks into a bar and sits down next to a drunk who is closely examining something held in his fingers. The lawyer watches the drunk for a while till he finally gets curious enough to ask what it is.

"Well," said the drunk, "it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."

"Let me have it," said the lawyer. Taking it, he began to roll it between his thumb and forefinger, examining it closely. "Yes," he finally said, "it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but i don't know what it is. Where did you get it?"

"From my nose," the drunk replied.

#joke #lawyer #walksintoabar
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 21 October 2009
  • Currently 5.62/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (55)

A young lady came home from a ...

A young lady came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Jeff proposed to me an hour ago."

"Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked.

"Because he also told me he was an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a hell."

Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him how wrong he is."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 April 2009
  • Currently 7.44/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (25)

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gr...

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 April 2009
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (8)

Church Bulletin Bloopers

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and do so.
The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 April 2009
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (8)

What do you call a snail on a ...

What do you call a snail on a boat?

A Snailer!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 April 2009
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (7)

How do you stop a Lawyer from Drowning?

Q. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

A. Shoot him before he hits the water.

#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 11 April 2009
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.