Jokes of the day for Thursday, 06 May 2010

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 06 May 2010
  • Currently 9.54/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (122)

During a torna...

During a tornado, there is always a column before the storm.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (4)

Two kids were deciding what ga...

Two kids were deciding what game to play. One said, “Let’s play doctor.”
“Good idea,” said the other. “You operate, and I’ll sue.”
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.43/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Funny video of the day Thursday, 06 May 2010

Funny video of the day Thursday, 06 May 2010 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 2.80/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (5)

California Winemakers

California winemakers in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as
PINO MORE
I heard it through the grapevine.
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

A couple pulled into the drive...

A couple pulled into the driveway after their first date. The guy leans over and gives the girl a long, slow kiss. While he's kissing her, he quietly unzips his pants, takes her hand, and puts it on his penis.

When she realizes what it is, she screams, jumps out of the car, and yells back at him as she starts closing the car door, "I've got just two words for you, Drop Dead!!"

"And I've got two words for you too," the guy shrieks, "LET GO!!!!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (27)

Funny Photo of the day - Om Nom Nom Mobile

Om Nom Nom Mobile | Source : Jokes - Funny car photos
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (4)

Buy a grade...

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.

Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."

The next class the professor handed the tests back out. This student got back his test and $64 change.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

Top Ten Signs That You Are Too Drunk


10. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the Earth.
9. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
8. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
7. Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
6. You can focus better with one eye closed.
5. You fall off the floor.
5. The whole bar greets you when you come in.
4. You haven't had a driver's license in such a long time that you have forgotten what one looks like.
3. Roseanne looks good.
2. You don't recognize your wife/husband unless seen through bottom of glass.
1. You spent more time on the floor than you do standing up.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (5)

If April showers bring May f...

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Face

Why are women like snow flakes?

They are all beautiful.

They are all different.

They can all be cold as ice.

But they'll all melt when they land on your face...

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Laura Kightlinger: Sleeping With Mom

I slept with my mother until I was nine years old. It was OK for the first few years, and then I dont know what happened. I just couldnt do it anymore. I mean, sleeping with the same woman, night after night -- boring.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

How do you tell a kebab to be ...

How do you tell a kebab to be quiet?
Shh, kebab
#joke #short
Joke | Source: http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
  • Currently 5.91/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (44)

A burglar broke into a house o...

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight around looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you."
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light back on and began searching more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."
Totally rattled, he shone his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" He hissed at the parrot.
"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are any way?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses," the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?"
The bird promptly answered: "The same kind of people that would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 November 2009
  • Currently 6.65/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (63)

A man is driving up a steep, n...

A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!"
The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!"
They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road and dies.
If only men would listen.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 June 2009
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

Friendly Pastor

After the birth of their child, an Episcopal priest, wearing his clerical collar, visited his wife in the hospital. He greeted her with a hug and a kiss, and gave her another hug and kiss when he left. Later, the wife's roommate commented, “Your pastor is sure friendlier than mine.”
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 11 June 2009
  • Currently 5.44/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (9)

Hi there. I'm a detective...

Hi there. I'm a detective. My name is Friday. I work on Saturday. She's my secretary. A guy walked by my office, I knew he was tall; we're on the seventh floor. Last week, a woman walked into my office. She pulled out a pair of 45s, then she pulled out a gun. She invited me to a party that night.

As we were driving to the party, we got a flat tire. I pumped, she jacked, I pumped, she jacked, then we got out and fixed the tire. When we got to the party, everyone was feeling merry, but Mary had to leave. Then everyone started jumping for joy, but Joy got a headache...so we left.

We went to her place. A rock broke through the window and hit her in the breast, I broke three fingers. I started petting her pussy, then her cat walked in. Her husband showed up...told me to beat it, so I did, then I left.
#joke #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 May 2009
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (12)

Dead or Alive...

GENUINE COURT TRANSCRIPT...

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 May 2009
  • Currently 5.36/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (11)

What kind of crisps can fly? What kind of crisps can fly?

Plane ones
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 May 2009
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

The children had all been phot...

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher; ...she's dead."
#joke #doctor #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 May 2009
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (2)

Mother in law

John looked up to see his mother-in-law walking toward the front door carrying a broom.

"Tell me," he said to her, "are you going to clean house with it or fly away on it?"

Submitted by Glaci

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 May 2009
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (2)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.