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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, May the 8th 2010
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Eddie Gossling: Israeli-Palestinian Conflict |
| My first impression of the current conflict between the Israelis and Palestinians: Mom, Israels touching me! |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Santa Hates Your Kid |
| 8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.
3. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the stupid list
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Scary Collection 28 |
A vampire joke
What do romantic vampires do?
Neck!
A skeleton joke
What's a skeleton's favorite vegetable?
Marrow!
A skeleton joke
What did the old skeleton complain of?
Aching bones!
A vampire joke
What did Dracula say to his new apprentice?
We could do with some new blood around here!
A skeleton joke
What is a skeleton?
Somebody on a diet who forgot to say "when"!
A vampire joke
How does a vampire clean his house?
With a victim cleaner!
A vampire joke
What does a vampire say when you tell him a ghoul joke
?
Ghoul blimey!
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 2.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Little voices... |
A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. As he takes a sip of his beer, he hears a tiny little voice say: "Nice tie." He looks around but sees no one. He take another sip of his beer and hears: "A nice shirt, too." Again he looks around and sees no one.
He signals the bartender over, and hesitantly explains that he's hearing voices talking to him... "Of course," smiles the bartender. "It's the peanuts -- they're complimentary." |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 4.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and picks it up. She opens it and says, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar."
The second blonde says, "Here, let me see it." So the first blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the compact and says, "You dumb ass, it's me!" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.3/10 (8 votes cast) |
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Row, Row, Row Your Boat?
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A student was asked if he knew what Roe v. Wade was about. He answered that he thought it was the decision George Washington had to make when he decided to cross the Delaware.
This joke was reprinted from "Laugh Yourself Healthy" by Charles and Frances Hunter, with permission of Strang Communications. Copyright 2008. All rights reserved. |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station. The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is?"
Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.
Little Johnny replied: "That's how Mommy knows supper is ready!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
| A manager was soliciting resumes through a recruitment agency to fill in a senior staff member who had just resigned. The next day the recruitment agent came in to meet the manager and beaming he handed over a resume and said, "M'am, we have got just the right person you are looking for. The manager after skimming through the resume was visibly upset. Puzzled, the recruitment agent enquired what the matter was. The manager replied, "This candidate on the resume is the best we've got in our department". |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 4.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
| Do data miners work at the query? |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 5.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
Three old men were sitting around and talking. The 80 year-old said, "The
best thing that could happen to me would just to be able to have a good
pee. I stand there for twenty minutes, and it dribbles and hurts. I have
to go over and over again."
The 85 year-old said, "The best thing that could happen to me is if I
could have one good bowel movement. I take every kind of laxative I can
get my hands on and it's still a problem."
Then the 90 year-old said, "That's not my problem. Every morning at 6:00
am sharp, I have a good long pee. At around 6:30 am I have a great bowel
movement. The best thing that could happen to me would be if I could wake
up before 7:00 am. |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 6.5/10 (19 votes cast) |
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