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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Monday, May the 10th 2010
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NOTE:
Last couple of days issue was noticed with funny video and funny image representation
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check funny videos and funny photos you have missed due to issue, using << Previous 'jokes of the day' link.
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Blowup Doll Bomb |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Steve McGrew: Native American Mom, Irish Dad |
| My moms American Indian; my dads from Ireland. Theres a drinking problem waiting to happen. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 2.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Tennis Balls |
| One day while jogging, a middle-aged man noticed a tennis ball lying by the side of the walk.
Being fairly new and in good condition, he picked the ball up, put it in his pocket and proceeded on his way.
Waiting at the cross street for the light to change, he noticed a beautiful blond standing next to him smiling.
"What do you have in your pocket?" she asked.
"Tennis ball," the man said smiling back.
"Wow," said the blonde looking upset. "That must hurt. I once had tennis elbow and the pain was unbearable!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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You Might Be A Redneck If 15 |
You might be a redneck if...
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.
The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair.
You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.
Your wife weighs more then your refrigerator.
You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow.
You mow your lawn and find a car.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight.
You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Saving the President... |
One day Bill Clinton was out jogging and he accidently tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below...
Three 10 year old boys were playing along the river and saw him fall in so they all jumped in and saved him and dragged him to shore.
He was so thankful that he told each of them, "Boys, you just saved the President of the United States and each of you deserve a reward."
The first boy says, "I want to go to Disneyland!"
"I'll take you there myself!!!" exclaims Bill.
The second boy says, "I want a brand new pair of autographed Nike Air Jordans."
"I'll buy them for you myself," says Bill
"And I want a motorized wheelchair with a stereo built into it with custom speakers" the third boy says.
The president looks at the boy and says, "But son you don't look like you are handicapped to me"
The boy says, "I'm going to be when my dad finds out that I saved you from drowning!!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 5.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
A guy went to a travel agent and tried to book a two week cruise for himself and his girlfriend.
The travel agent said that all the ships were booked up and things were very tight, but that he would see what he could do.
A couple of days later, the travel agent phoned and said he could now get them onto a three day cruise.
The guy agreed and went to the drugstore to buy three Dramamine’s and three condoms.
Next day, the agent called back and said that he now could book a five day cruise.
The guy said, "I’ll take it," and returned to the same pharmacy, to buy two more Dramamine’s and two more condoms.
The following day, the travel agent called yet again and said he could now book an eight day cruise.
The guy agreed, and went back to the drugstore. He asked for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.
The pharmacist looked sympathetically at him and said, "Look, if it makes you sick, why do you keep doing it?" |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 4.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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An Offering From the Bottom of My….
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A little girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill. "Mommy," she said, "can we leave now?"
"No," her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!" exclaimed the girl.
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush," said her mother.
After about sixty seconds, the little girl returned to her seat. "Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes," the little girl replied.
"How could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and returned so quickly?" her mother asked.
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy. They have a box next to the front door that says, 'For the Sick.'" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 7.0/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Blonde Police Officer |
A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports
car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde.
The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug
through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does
it look like?' she finally asked.
The policewoman replied, 'It's square and it has your picture on
it.'
The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it
and handed it to the policewoman.
'Here it is,' she said.
The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back
saying, 'Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop too.'
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Permalink | Source : jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
A Rich old man, who inherited all his money from his father, one day asks his young wife: "Honey, would you still have married me if my father didn't leave me with all this money?".
His wife smiles gently and answers: "Sure honey, you know I would marry you no matter who gave you the money". |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.7/10 (6 votes cast) |
Billy and Tommy were watching a boat pull a man on skis across the lake.
“What makes that boat go so fast?” asked little Billy.
It’s because that man on the string is chasing it,” said Tommy.
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg is frowning and looking a bit pissed off.
The egg mutters, to no one in particular,
"Well, I guess we answered THAT question!" |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 5.0/10 (24 votes cast) |
| The fellow who removed all his body hair was considered a nair do well. In fact he manscaped from prison. When he was recaptured, he received ten wax to the back. What a follicle from grace. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 4.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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