JOKES OF THE DAY

the nurse. Baby 2: Okay The nurse leaves Baby 2: Prove it.

Baby 1: Look, blue socks...

One day a preacher goes to visit an elderly lady. As he is sitting there talking with her, he notices a bowl of peanuts sitting on the table in front of him.

'Do you mind if I have a few peanuts?' he asks the lady.

'Help yourself,' she replies.

After about an hour and a half visit, he gets up to leave and notices that he has eated almost all of the peanuts in the bowl.

'I apologize,' he says to the elderly lady. 'I only meant to eat a few.'

'That's okay,' says the lady, 'Since I've lost my teeth, all I've been able to do is suck the chocolate off of them.'

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

The Lutheran men's group will meet at 6 pm. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread, and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

Tuesday at 4:00 pm there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Due to weather conditions, there will not be any “Women Worth Watching” this week.

The church is glad to have with us today as our guest minister the Rev. Shirley Green, who has Mrs. Green with him. After the service, we request that all remain in the sanctuary for the Hanging of the Greens.

Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.


- Joke shared on Beliefnet's Religious Humor page

A little boy wanted \$100.00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the \$100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. the President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a \$5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the \$5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to GOD, which read: Dear GOD, Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those jerks deducted \$95.00.