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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, May the 20th 2010
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Daniel Tosh: Who Sinned First |
| If you look at the Bible and you look at Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we all know who sinned first. Ladies, do you have to eat everything? |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Blonde quickies 6 |
| Q: What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A: Bucket seats.
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
A1: Thanks Guys.
A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
A3: Do you guys all play for the Swans?
Q: What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A: Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
Q: Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A: *Who cares?*
Q: Why do blonds have orgasms ?
A: So they know when to stop having sex !
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm????
A1: She drops her nail-file!!!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She say 'Next'
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder
A5: He's had his clothes for about 2 minutes
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?
A: "Thanks for the refill!"
Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blond's ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A: Because they don't know any better.
Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!" |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Stupid Blonde Driver |
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
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Bedtime prayers |
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.
At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
One day Little Johnnie came home to his mum and said "Mummy i learned a new word today."
"What's that dear" his mother asked
"Masturbation" he replied
Shocked, his mother replied "Ohh thats a mouthful"
"No mummy thats a blowjob" he replied. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.3/10 (6 votes cast) |
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Serving Two Masters
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A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.
"Nothing easier," Twain replied. "No man can serve two masters."
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Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.1/10 (8 votes cast) |
An Australian was in Ireland. On his way to Belfast, he stopped
at a bar and asked one of the locals, "What's the quickest way
to Belfast?" The Irishmen asked, "Are you walking or driving?"
The Australian replied, "I'm driving!" The Irishman said, "Aye,
that'd be the quickest way!" |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 6.2/10 (9 votes cast) |
| Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband.” “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces,” the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement.” Kathy interrupts: “Stop right there. This definitely falls into the category of ‘Home Improvement.’” |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 5.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father of the baby. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and pulse and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this, they decided to try for 50 percent.
The husband continued to feel quite well. Since it was obviously helping out his wife considerably, he encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him.
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic. When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch. |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 5.6/10 (26 votes cast) |
| Who invented the Allen key? I have no Ikea. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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