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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Sunday, May the 23rd 2010
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NOTE:
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What A Wasted Opportunity To Use The Slide |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : There I fixed it - photos of ur handiwork!
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Danny Bhoy: French Breakfast |
| Says a lot about the French, though, the old croissant, doesnt it? It says, We are flaky and a little bit gay. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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Making out |
| A guy and a blond are on a date, and after dinner and a movie, they head on up to "Makeout Mountain", where things get a little hot 'n' heavy.
Then the guy leans over, "Do you want to go in the backseat?"
"No."
Unfazed, they continue making out.
The guy trys again, "Do you want to go in the backseat?"
"No.
A little frustrated, the man decides to ignore it. They continue to get pretty into it.
Soon, the man figures he can ask again, "Do you want to go in the backseat?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I want to stay up here with you."
Submitted by blueindiansquaw
Edited by Curtis |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
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You Might Be A Redneck If 63 |
You might be a reneck if...
You just bought your family their lst Atari game system.
You and your wife celebrate your anniversay at the K-mart cafeteria.
You think the only tools "real men" need are duck tape and caulk, and you have sucessful repair projects to prove it.
You've tried to quote Jeff Foxworthy and screwed it up.
You name your car the General Lee.
You see a sign that says "bridge out" and you try to jump it.
You go to your local pet shop for a cat scan.
Warp drive describes the condition of your car.
Your smoke detector doubles as your dinner bell.
You go to the dentist for a "Tooth Cleaning".
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 4.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
A bloke went to his mate's fancy dress party with nothing but a naked girl on his back.
"So what the hell are you supposed to be?" the host asked.
"I'm a snail." The bloke replied.
"What a load of rubbish!" the host spat. "How can you be a snail when all you've got is that naked girl on your back?"
"That's not a naked girl, mate," the bloke replied, "that's Michelle".
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.0/10 (10 votes cast) |
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New scientific study |
Q: Have you heard about the new scientific study which discovered that a certain type of food decreases a woman's sex drive?
A: It's called wedding cake. |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 1.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A farmer walks into a bar and orders a drink.The man next to him notices that he looks depressed, so he asks him what was wrong.
Farmer: some things you just can't explain.
Man: Try me.
Farmer: OK, I was milking my cow when it kicked the bucket of milk over so I took some rope and tied its leg to the fence.
Man: that doesn't sound too bad.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain.
Man: There's more?
Farmer: Yeah, the cow kicked over the bucket again with his other foot.
Man: that still doesn't sound too bad, did you tie his other leg to the fence too?
Farmer: Yeah, but I didn't have any more rope, so I took off my belt and tied his foot to the fence. When I stood up without my belt my pants fell down, that's when my wife came in and saw in the situation I was in.
Farmer: Some things you just can't explain. |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 7.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Jesus in the Bathroom
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A Sunday school teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that he grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven!"
Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart!"
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He's in our bathroom!"
The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.
Little Johnny replied, "Well, every morning my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells: 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 4.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
A railfan was discussing the NSW C-79 class, pointing out its tall funnel, large driving wheels, and other characteristics which gave it an Edwardian appearance. Then his young brother, a Thomas the Tank Engine fan, came up with a picture of an unstreamlined 38-class, claiming for it a "Gordonian" appearance!
Translation: Nobody could fail to recognise the allusion to Gordon of the Fat Controller's railway!
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| A doctor broke the bad news to a man, that his wife would have to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital. “I’m afraid her mind’s completely gone,” he said. “Makes sense,” mumbled the man. “She’s been giving me a piece of it every day for the last 15 years.” |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 6.0/10 (1 vote cast) |
| Which Greek philosopher was great at football? |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 0.0/10 (0 votes cast) |
Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together
at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into
Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed
the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into
the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let
him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring
Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with
him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died
on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered,
"about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned
to the lawyer. "Name them." |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 5.8/10 (31 votes cast) |
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