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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Jun the 3rd 2010
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Spelling Fail |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : Fail blog - Epic Fail Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments
Rating: 2.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Nick Swardson: First High School Reunion |
| I just got invited to my first high school reunion. I want to show up as the first thing I wanted to be when I was younger. Wouldnt that be cool if you showed up, and everybodys like, Hey, hows it going, Nick? Yeah, its me, Bob, remember? Yeah, Im a real estate agent now, and Ive got my own company. Jims a lawyer, and hes got his own firm. So, what are you doing? I am a ninja. I rule the night. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 7.4/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Answering Machine Message 172 |
Hi, you have reached Richard. I'm sorry, but my answering machine is out of order, so the voice you are hearing is actually me.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 1.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pigmy answered: "Yes".
"How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?"
"I killed it with my club" replied the pigmy.
"That's amazing," said the explorer. "How big's your club?"
The pigmy replied: "There's about 150 of us"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.1/10 (9 votes cast) |
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Things sure have changed... |
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.3/10 (6 votes cast) |
Cuban knowledge!
Pepito, the son of Cuban-American refugees
It was the first day of school and a new student named Pepito, the son of Cuban-American refugees, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher said, "Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pepito, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775."
"Very good Pepito! Who said ’Government of the people, by the people,for the people, shall not perish from the earth’"?
Again, no response except from Pepito: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863.",
The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Pepito,who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Cubans."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Pepito put his hand up."J.F.K., during the Bay of Pigs invasion 1961."
At that point, a student in the back said," I’m gonna puke."
The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who said that?"
Again, Pepito says, "George Bush Sr. to Japans Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Pepito jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you."
Pepito frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy 2001."
The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh shit, we’re in BIG trouble!, we better get the hell outta here!!"
Pepito said, "Saddam Hussein 2003." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 6.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
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The Sin
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Two elderly, excited Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of a church listening to a fiery preacher.
When this preacher condemned the sin of stealing, these two ladies cried out at the tops of their lungs, "AMEN, BROTHER!" When the preacher condemned the sin of lust, they yelled again, "PREACH IT, REVEREND!"
And when the preacher condemned the sin of lying, they jumped to their feet and screamed, "RIGHT ON, BROTHER! TELL IT LIKE IT IS... AMEN!"
But when the preacher condemned the sin of gossip, the two got very quiet. One turned to the other and said, "He's quit preaching and now he's meddlin'." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 6.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing aid.
it cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty,' came the reply. |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.0/10 (4 votes cast) |
Three buddies die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the pearly gates.
They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and
family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say
about you?
The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was the
greates doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful
husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our
children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies,
"I would like to hear them say... LOOK!!! HE'S MOVING!!!!!"
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Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 3.0/10 (3 votes cast) |
Two blondes, Carol and Patty, were walking down the street.
Carol noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, "Hmmm, this person looks familiar." Patty said, "Let me look!" So Carol handed her the Compact.
Patty looked in the mirror and said,"You dummy, it's me! |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 6.8/10 (18 votes cast) |
| They dont build guns like they used too. Too many modern firearms show signs of shotty workmanship. |
Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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