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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Wednesday, Jun the 9th 2010
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Mugshot Fail |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : Fail blog - Epic Fail Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments
Rating: 4.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Adam Sandler: Just Be Dead |
| If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not cause I hate her so much as its just easier for when my friends go, Hey, what happened? Oh, shes dead. Id still be with her, but shes dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but shes dead. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
Rating: 3.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Prisoner |
| The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart, putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'.
So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time. Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey, the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes.
But the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal. Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He yells at her, "Hey, it's not life imprisonment!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
Rating: 6.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Blow The Horn |
| Why did the blonde have lipstick on her steering wheel? She was trying to blow the horn. |
Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
Rating: 2.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
| An explorer walked into a clearing and was surprised to see a pigmy standing beside a huge dead elephant. "Did you kill that?" he asked. The pigmy answered: "Yes".
"How could a little bloke like you kill something as huge as that?"
"I killed it with my club" replied the pigmy.
"That's amazing," said the explorer. "How big's your club?"
The pigmy replied: "There's about 150 of us"
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day
Rating: 6.1/10 (9 votes cast) |
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Good grades... |
The little boy wasn't getting good marks in school. One day he made the teacher quite surprised. He tapped her on the shoulder and said...
"I don't want to scare you, but my daddy says if I don't get better grades.... somebody is going to get a spanking....". |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
Rating: 6.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
How to tell a person is lying when they say they're Jewish...
"So where on this menu is the bacon?"
"I thought they said not to wear hats in the synagogue"
They're reading and pronounce the word synagogue like it's spelled...and they're 30!
They keep pointing out how much they love that Star of Christ.
They name their child (or they are named) Christian
Don't know what a bar-mitzvah is... |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
Rating: 2.3/10 (3 votes cast) |
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Glory Be Unto the Father
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Walking by, a minister saw his 5-year-old son and playmates find a dead robin.
Feeling that proper burial should be performed, the children had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased.
The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn... and into the hole he gooooes." |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
Rating: 5.8/10 (4 votes cast) |
A blonde was driving down the road and she looks up and she sees a tree so she swerves to the left.
The tree is still nfront of her so she swerves to the right, this time her car rolls into the ditch.
When the Police Officer came to the scene of the accident the blonde told the Police Officer about the tree that was in front of her. The officer kindly explained that the tree was the green air freshener hanging off her rear view mirror. |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day
Rating: 5.8/10 (8 votes cast) |
| The law professor was lecturing on courtroom procedure. “When you are fighting a case and have the facts on your side, hammer away at the facts. If you have the law on your side, hammer away with the law.” “But what if you have neither the facts nor the law on your side?” “In that case,” said the professor, “hammer away on the table.” |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
I wish telemarketers would take ban-call a days.
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Permalink | Source : Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
Rating: 5.5/10 (2 votes cast) |
Police officer pulled this guy over for speeding and told him that his eyes were bloodshot, and asked him if he'd been drinking. The guy said "Your eyes are glazed, have you been eating donuts?" |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games
Rating: 4.8/10 (16 votes cast) |
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Picking a punishment #joke #humor |
This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.
So Satan opens the first door. In the room there are people standing in cow manure up to their necks. The guy says "No, please show me the next room".
Satan shows him the next room and this has people with cow manure up to their noses. And so he says no again.
Finally, Satan shows him the third and final room. This time there are people in there with cow manure up to their knees drinking cups of tea and eating cakes.
So the guy says, "I'll choose this room". Satan says O.K.
The guy is standing in there eating his cake and drinking his tea thinking, "Well, it could be worse", when the door opens.
Satan pops his head around, and says "O.K. tea-break is over. Back on your heads!"
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Permalink | Source : Daily Jokes - A Clean Joke Everyday!
Rating: 5.5/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Free GPS tracking service for mobile devices that allows you to track any cell phone with built-in GPS (or with Bluetooth GPS receiver) in real time - partner of the jokes of the day
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Travel photos
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Travel Photos Of Places - collection of photos from all around the world - frend of the jokes of the day
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