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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Thursday, Jun the 24th 2010
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How’s The Bomb Weather? |
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Funny photo of the day Permalink | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
Rating: 5.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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Tom Papa: You Know Smoking Is Bad for You |
| They smoke for 60-70 years, then they show up, I had no idea it was bad for me! Come on. Youre breathing in fire. What did you think you were doing, training for the circus? Even if they didnt put a label on the pack, you would know its bad for you, wouldnt you? They dont need to put a warning label on a hammer for me to know if I smack myself in the face, its gonna hurt. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive. - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 1.7/10 (3 votes cast) |
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12- Pack |
| A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'' The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?'' The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'' Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for. The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....'' |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 6.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
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Business One-liners 21 |
Democracy is that form of government where everybody gets what the majority deserves.
Diplomacy is the ability to tell someone to "get lost" in such a way that they look forward to the trip.
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you find a large enough rock.
Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.
Do someone a favor and it becomes your job.
Do whatever your enemies do not want you to do.
Doing a good job around here is like wetting your pants in a dark suit; you get a warm feeling, but nobody notices.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.
Don't be so open minded that your brain falls out.
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Permalink | Source : Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily. - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 4.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
| Why did the nurse tip-toe to the cupboard?
So she didn't wake the sleeping pills.
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Permalink | Source : http://news.scotsman.com/ - Joke of the day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 1.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
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What does two plus two equal? |
A mathematician, a statistician and an accountant apply for the same job. The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What does two plus two equal?"
The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer incredulously and says "Yes, four, exactly."
Then the interviewer calls in the statistician and asks the same question "What does two plus two equal?" The statistician says "On average, four - give or take ten percent, but on average, four."
Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and poses the same question "What does two plus two equal?"
The accountant gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says "What do you want it to equal?" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 6.6/10 (5 votes cast) |
Every time an Indian walks into the chief's teepee he sees that the chief is masturbating. They finally realize this is a serious problem, so they fix him up with a nice woman, and she starts living with him in his teepee.
One day, one of the Indians walks into to chief's teepee and there's the chief masturbating again. He says, "Chief, what are you doing? We fix you up with a beautiful woman."
The chief says, "Her arm get tired." |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 6.8/10 (5 votes cast) |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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Forget world peace--visualize using your turn signal! |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 3.0/10 (2 votes cast) |
The General Managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (NewSouth Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) were at a national beer conference.
They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.
The General Manager of Tooheys says without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."
The General Manager of Cascade smiles and says, "I'll have a Cascade Draught, brewed from pure mountain water."
The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."
The bloke from XXXX says, "I'll have a XXXX, the cleanest beer on the planet."
The General Manager from Carlton glances at his lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head.
He just shrugs and says, "Well if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I." |
Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 5.9/10 (9 votes cast) |
| The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," he said. "I will bet a week's wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won't be able to wheel back." "You're on, old man," the braggart replied. "Let's see what you got." The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, "All right. Get in." |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 6.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
| Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word
'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue"
Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..."
Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green"
"Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says "Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..." |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 6.2/10 (19 votes cast) |
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Travel photos
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