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Jokes of the day
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Jokes of the day - daily portion of jokes. New jokes every day. Joke of the day archive is updated every day. Funny photo is updated daily. Funny video is updated daily. Links to great joke archives. Big archive of old jokes of the day, top rated jokes of the day. Jokes of the day are updated daily, bringing updated jokes. Rate jokes of the day.
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Jokes of the day for Saturday, Jul the 24th 2010
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Mike Birbiglia: Five Dates |
| My female friends complain about dating. My friend was like, I went out with this guy, and he wanted to sleep with me after five dates. And I was like, No, he wanted to sleep with you after one date. He thought he might have a chance after five. He probably wanted to sleep with you after zero dates, but he thought a trip to Applebees might grease the wheels a little. |
Permalink | Source : Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive. - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 5.3/10 (4 votes cast) |
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Cook |
| Q: How can you tell if a blond is a good cook? A: She
gets the poptart out of the toaster in one piece. |
Permalink | Source : The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 5.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
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Dust |
After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets the family.
"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our bodies came from the dust."
"That's right, Johnny, I did."
"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to dust."
"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"
"Well you better come over to our house right away and look under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!" |
Permalink | Source : http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 5.5/10 (8 votes cast) |
One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students, 'Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?'
The student replied, 'Here's an orange.'
The professor was livid. 'No! No! Think like a lawyer!'
The student then recited, 'Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, claim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding...' |
Permalink | Source : Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 4.4/10 (7 votes cast) |
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A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:
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"If you were made in God's image, how did you get to be so ugly?" |
Permalink | Source : Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 4.3/10 (7 votes cast) |
Bankers do it risk-free.
Bankers do it just for money.
Bankers charge a fee each time they do it.
Bankers do it with varying rates of interest.
Bankers do it with a penalty for early withdrawal.
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Permalink | Source : Australia, India, Sri Lanka - Australian Joke of the day - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 4.2/10 (5 votes cast) |
| Talk is cheap….. if lawyers don’t do the talking. |
Permalink | Source : A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 5.0/10 (10 votes cast) |
What does the starship enterprise and tiolet paper have in common?
They both circle around uranus and wipe out klingons. |
Permalink | Source : Laughspot - Free Daily Jokes, Ecards, & Games - jokes of the day partner site
Rating: 5.6/10 (18 votes cast) |
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