Jokes of the day for Sunday, 20 March 2011

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 20 March 2011
  • Currently 9.47/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (30)

Is it true Aristotle invented ...

Is it true Aristotle invented the sperm bank? No, but he did popularize the silo jism.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (6)

A vertically challenged psychi...

A vertically challenged psychic was arrested one day. He escaped from jail and the newspaper headline read, "SMALL MEDIUM AT-LARGE."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.21/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (14)

Funny video of the day - Funny video of the day Sunday, 20 March 2011

Funny video of the day Sunday, 20 March 2011 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (5)

Two Elderly Gentlemen

Two elderly gentlemen, who had been without sex for several years, decided they needed to visit a cat-house for some tail..... When they arrived, the madam took one look at them and decided she wasn't going to waste any of her girls on these two old men.
So she used "blow-up" dolls instead. She put the dolls in each man's room and left them to their business. After the two men were finished, they started walking home and began to talking. The first man said, "I think the girl I had was dead. She never moved, talked or even groaned... how was it for you?"
The second man replied, "I think mine was a witch. When I nibbled on her breast..... she farted and flew out the window!"
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (6)

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A little old lady with blue ha...

A little old lady with blue hair entered the marital aids shop and asked in a quavering voice, "Yy-young man, dd-do y-you sell d-dildoes h-here?"

The salesman, somewhat taken aback by the little old lady's appearance in his shop, answered, "Uh, yes, Ma'am. We do."

The little old lady, holding her quivering hands about 10 inches apart asked, "D-do y-you ha-aave an-ny ab-bb-bout th-this lon-ong?"

"Well, yes Ma'am, we do. We have several that size."

Forming a 5" circle with her fingers, she then asked, "A-are an-nny of t-them about thi-is b-big ar-round-d?"

"Well... Yes ma'am a few of them are about that big."

"D-do aa-ny of th-them ha-ave a v-v-vibra-a-ator?"

"Yes, Ma'am, one of them does."

"W-Wel-ll, h-how d-do yo-ou t-turn it off?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke rating machine - Jokes in categories, joke of the day by categories
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - Respect the Stache!

Respect the Stache! | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Christmas shopping...

It is the Christmas season and the judge is in a benevolent mood. He asks the accused man, "Well, Mr. Jones, what crime were you accused of committing this time of the year ?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping early, your honor," replies Mr. Jones humbly.

"That's no crime," comments the judge. "What time did you do your early Christmas shopping?"

"Just before the store opened."

#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (5)

China

what does china say to the world? 2 dolla fiftee cent Why do chinese people starve? Sumo wrestlers eat all the rice Why does most of america suck? its made in china how does china have a billion people? pregnant sluts
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Find the missing text [*P***H**D]

Background picture associated with the solution.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Greg Giraldo: On Catholicism

We have a whole religion based on a woman who really stuck to her story.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.87/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (39)

puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

12- Pack

A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms. The father replies, ''Well, you see that 3-pack? That's for when you're in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.'' The son then asks his father, ''What's the 6-pack for?'' The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.'' Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for. The father replies, ''Well, that's for when you're married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for.....''

#joke #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 24 June 2010
  • Currently 4.92/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (26)

It's late, the bartender and a...

It's late, the bartender and a guy are the only ones left in the bar. The guy pushes his empty beer glass over to the edge of the counter, walks to the other end of the bar, and says to the bartender, "If I could spit from here, and get it in the glass without getting any anywhere else, would you give me $50?" The bartender, not seeing how this bet could be cheated, says, "ok, show me." The guy spits and makes it in the glass without getting any on the counter or the floor. The bartender say, "That's amazing! You deserve the $50!"

The next day, about noon, the guy's in the bar again, and says to the bartender, if I can do it again, but with 2 glasses side by side, would you give me $100? The bartender agrees, and the guys spits from across the bar and makes it in both glasses, without getting any anywhere else.

The evening rolls around, and the bartender sticks a bunch of glasses all over the bar. He then says to the guy, "if you can spit in all of these glasses at the same time, without getting any anywhere else, I'll give you $200" The guy says, "Sure, but I need a little time to get ready" So after a minute, the guy comes up, and procceds to spit everywhere at lightning speed. The bartender, seeing that the guy has missed ever single cup, jumps up and down for joy, screaming. The guys pays the bartender, and says, "I don't see what you're so happy about, I just bet the guy in the corner $500 that I could spit all over your bar, and you'd be happy about it."

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 14 January 2010
  • Currently 5.16/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (45)

Hindu Happy Birthday

Q: What does a Hindu wish someone on their birthday?
A: May you have many happy returns.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 November 2009
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (16)

Q: What do you get if you enro...

Q: What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A: A natural major.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 08 July 2009
  • Currently 5.89/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (9)

A fellow nurse at my hospital ...

A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2009
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (20)

A cowboy rides into town on Fr...

A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays three days and leaves on Friday how does he do it?

The horses name is Friday
#joke #short #friday
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 20 March 2010
  • Currently 6.21/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (14)

Little Johnny's Chemistr...

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2009
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

What did the digital clock say...

What did the digital clock say to the analogue clock?
Look, no hands!
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2009
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (8)

Top Ten Hillary Clinton Campaign Slogans

10. "Read My Lips -- No New Interns"

9. "Reward Me For Putting Up With Bill's Crap For So Long"

8. "Isn't It Time You Were Disappointed By A Different

Clinton?"

7. "Ask Not What Your Country Can Do For You, Ask How You

Can Illegally

Contribute To My Campaign"

6. "Vote For Me Or My Husband Will Nail Your Wife"

5. "You Give Me A Vote, I'll Get Vernon Jordan To Give You A

Job"

4. "Still Not Indicted As Of Early '99!"

3. "From Perjury To Albany"

2. "Building A Bridge To The 21st Century, And Pushing My

Husband Over

It"

1. "Oh Lord, Please Don't Make Me Go Back To Arkansas!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2009
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

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