Jokes of the day for Thursday, 01 March 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 01 March 2012
  • Currently 9.61/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (105)

Hilarious jokes-True

Judge: "Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?"
Defendant: "Yes, it's true."
Judge: "Then, why don't you just pay him back?"
Defendant: "Because it wouldn't be true anymore."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.13/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (8)

After the baby was baptized, h...

After the baby was baptized, her four-year-old brother was crying inconsolably in the back seat of the car.

"What's the matter Johnny?" asked his concerned mother.

Johnny replied: "that man said that he hoped our baby would be raised in a good Christian home... I just want her to stay with you guys."

#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Funny video of the day - Hammock Sittin Fail

Hammock Sittin Fail - Training is required for this kind of activity - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 3.13/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (8)

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut...

Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (14)

Arab cannibal's favourit...

Arab cannibal's favourite flavour: Yemen-lime.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.38/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Bros: Drive-Thru Like a Bro

Bros: Drive-Thru Like a Bro | Source : Fail blog - Epic Fail Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments
  • Currently 3.38/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (8)

Little Johnny's class were on ...

Little Johnny's class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, "it was so nice of you to put my daddy's picture up there."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (8)

A man went out behind his barn...

A man went out behind his barn and caught his son playing with his manhood. The father said, "Son, get a girl. She'd be twice as good as what you're doing there."

The son replied, "Dad, if she'd twice as good as this, I don't think I could stand it."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Used to be Joke rating machine, but this site is dead
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (5)

Find number abc

If c25b6 - bcca2 = 5acca find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Lover's Lane

At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?"

"Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed.

"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?"

the lawyer continued.

"Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure... he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis."

#joke #blonde #lawyer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

Paul F. Tompkins: Had to Be There

If something is inherently funny, its relatable after the fact. Anyone who says, You had to be there, should just not have told you the thing in the first place because its not funny.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.05/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (22)

Popular Sayings, modified by the Internet

- Home is where you hang your @

- The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.

- A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

- You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.

- Great groups from little icons grow.

- Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

- C: is the root of all directories.

- Don't put all your hypes in one home page.

- Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

- The modem is the message.

- Too many clicks spoil the browse.

- The geek shall inherit the earth.

- A chat has nine lives.

- Don't byte off more than you can view.

- Fax is stranger than fiction.

- What boots up must come down.

- Windows will never cease.

- In Gates we trust.

- Virtual reality is its own reward.

- Modulation in all things.

- A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

- Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

- There's no place like http://www.home.com

- Know what to expect before you connect.

- Oh, what a tangled Web site we weave when first we practice.

- Speed thrills.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 3.93/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (28)

A drunk walks into a crowded b...

A drunk walks into a crowded bar and takes the last barstool next to an older woman. After awhile, the woman starts to smell this horrible odor coming from the direction of the drunk. She turns to him and says, "Excuse me Mister, but did you just shit yourself?" The drunk replied, "Yes ma'am, I have indeed shit myself." The woman says, "Well, why don't you go somewhere and clean yourself up?"

The drunk says, "'Cause I'm not finished yet..."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 23 October 2009
  • Currently 5.16/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (55)

Kissing a Nun

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see if you qualify. #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a costume party."
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member socaliflady

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 11 September 2009
  • Currently 6.68/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (56)

Wrong number...

A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.

"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked.

"Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowner. But I HAVE got a wife and eleven children."

"Is that a record?" she inquired.

"I don't think so," replied the man, "but it's as close as I want to get to setting one."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 March 2009
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (7)

Heros?

One day Bill Clinton was out jogging -- and accidentally

fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident.

Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and

dragged the wet president out of

the river.

After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of

the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it,

I'll give it to you."

The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to

Disneyland!"

"I'll personally hand it to you," said Mr. Clinton.

"I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.

"I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the

grateful defender of the Western Hemisphere.

"And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the

third boy.

"I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not

handicapped!"

"No -- but I will be when my father finds out whom I saved

from drowning."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 March 2010
  • Currently 5.72/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (39)

Rest Area

On her way home from a long trip, a blonde drove past a sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES".

By the time she drove eight miles, she had cleaned 43 restrooms.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 March 2009
  • Currently 4.03/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (34)

You see....

During a dinner party, the hosts' two little children entered the dining room totally nude and walked slowly around the table.

The parents were so embarrassed that they pretended nothing was happening and kept the conversation going. The guests cooperated and also continued as if nothing extraordinary was happening. After going all the way around the room, the children left, and there was a moment of silence at the table, during which one child was heard to say....

"You see, it IS vanishing cream!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 March 2009
  • Currently 4.73/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (26)

When the porn star advertised ...

When the porn star advertised a free orgy, she was unprepared for the onslot.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 01 March 2010
  • Currently 4.68/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (25)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.