Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 16 May 2012
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (68)

Pit Bull and Pathologist

Q: What is the difference between a Pit Bull and a Pathologist?
A: A Pit bull lets go when you're dead!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

Bargains at the pet shop:
...

Bargains at the pet shop:

A hummingbird that knows the words

A bloodhound with hypoglycemia

A chameleon that's stuck on green

A depressed hyena

An absent-minded elephant
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Vinyl Throw: MusicBunk

Vinyl Throw: MusicBunk - Hanging with my friends and throwing vinyl records around. Vinyl record trick shots. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (7)

Good and Ideal Man

While creating men, God Promised women that a good and ideal man would be found in all corners of the world. then He made the earth round.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 4.71/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (7)

The spread of Walmart is like ...

The spread of Walmart is like a plague of low-costs.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Car Security Overkill

Car Security Overkill - At what point do you think that your POS requires this much protection? | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
  • Currently 3.64/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (11)

Bubba and Billy were driving d...

Bubba and Billy were driving down the road while drinking beer when they spotted a roadblock ahead. "We're gonna get busted," whimpered Billy. "Don't worry," said Bubba. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, then peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads and then toss the bottles under the seat. Just let me do the talking." They downed the beer, threw the empties out of sight and put the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the police officer asked, "You boys been drinking?" "No, sir," said Bubba, pointing at the labels. "Me and Billy are on the patch."
#joke #beer
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

Why did the Blonde c

Why did the Blonde cross the road? Who cares, what the hell is she doing out of the kitchen!

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (9)

Guess the Game Name

Look carefully the picture and guess the game name.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Todd Barry: Book Lights

They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you attach to your book. You know, I actually thought about buying one of these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.65/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (78)

The original draft of The Lord...

The original draft of The Lord of the Rings featured Chuck Norris instead of Frodo Baggins. It was only 5 pages long, as Chuck roundhouse-kicked Sauron into oblivion halfway through the first chapter.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 26 June 2011
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (15)

Nuns on the Highway

A cop pulls over a car full of nuns. The cop says, “Sister, the speed limit on this highway is 55 mph. Why are you going so slow?”
Sister replies, “I saw a lot of signs that said 41, not 55.”
The copy says, “Sister, that’s the name of the highway, not the speed limit.”
“Silly me,” the embarrassed nun says. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll be more careful.”
But then the copy glances in the back seat where the other nuns are quaking with fear. He asks, “Excuse me, Sister, what’s wrong with your friends?”
Sister says, “Oh, we just got off Highway 101.”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 11 March 2010
  • Currently 5.86/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (28)

An old man goes to the Wizard ...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a "Curse" he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says "maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
The old man says without hesitation "'I now pronounce you man and wife'".
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 07 January 2010
  • Currently 5.24/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (71)

Cute little vase...

A guy goes to a girl's house for the first time, and she shows him into the living room. She excuses herself to go to the kitchen to get them some snacks and drinks. As he's standing there alone, he notices a cute little vase on the mantle.

He picks it up, and as he's looking at it, she walks back in. He says, "What's this?"

She says, "Oh, my father's ashes are in there."

He turns beet red in horror and goes, "Geez, oh . . . I . . ."

She says, "Yeah, he's too lazy to go to the kitchen to get an ashtray."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 03 June 2009
  • Currently 3.29/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (7)

Biblical Theme Songs

Noah: "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head"
Adam and Eve: "Strangers in Paradise"
Lazarus: "The Second Time Around"
Esther: "I Feel Pretty"
Job: "I've Got a Right to Sing the Blues"
Moses: "The Wanderer"
Jezebel: "The Lady is a Tramp"
Samson: "Hair"Salome: "I Could Have Danced All Night"
Daniel: "The Lion Sleeps Tonight"
Esau: "Born To Be Wild"
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: "Great Balls of Fire!"
The Three Kings: "When You Wish Upon a Star"
Jonah: "Got a Whale of a Tale"
Elijah: "Up, Up, and Away"
Methuselah: "Stayin' Alive"
Nebuchadnezzar: "Crazy"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 May 2010
  • Currently 4.42/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (38)

Chuck Norris hears sign langua...

Chuck Norris hears sign language.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 May 2011
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (32)

A lawyer died and arrived at t...

A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 16 May 2009
  • Currently 6.41/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (22)

Daniel Tosh: God Does Not Hate Gay People

God does not hate gay people. Hes just mad because they found a loophole in His system.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 16 May 2010
  • Currently 4.48/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (21)

At the public pool

The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.

"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool."

"Oh really?" said the lifeguard, "from the diving board!?!?"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 16 May 2011
  • Currently 5.31/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (13)

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