Jokes of the day for Sunday, 20 May 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 20 May 2012
  • Currently 9.52/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (71)

Blonde jokes-No kidding

I met a blonde called Josie who told me about her exploits with the best athletes in college. When I said "no kidding", she thought I was talking about some kind of birth control.
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (8)

Q. Why was the fly dancing on ...

Q. Why was the fly dancing on the jam jar?

A. Because on the lid it said, "Twist to open."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.42/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (12)

Funny video of the day - Slacklining Over Swimming Pool Fail

Slacklining Over Swimming Pool Fail - He brought the roof down - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (12)

Translations of Help Wanted Ads

Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.

Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.

Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.

Fast learner: You will get no training from us.

Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.

Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.

Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.

Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.

Much client contact: You handle the phone or make “cold calls” on clients.

Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.

Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.

Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.

Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.

Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.

Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 5.56/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (9)

Chuck Norris was once on Celeb...

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Source: Daily Chuck - Daily Chuck Norris Fact
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (29)

Funny Photo of the day - We’ve Come to Take Your Towels

We’ve Come to Take Your Towels | Source : This is Photobomb - Photojackers of the World Unite!
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (12)

Those laid off from my company...

Those laid off from my company are jobless person I fired.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.57/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (7)

Rowing Your Boat

Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.93/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (27)

Calculate the number 511

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 511 using numbers [4, 1, 3, 7, 78, 597] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Todd Barry: Book Lights

They sell book lights now, a little spotlight you attach to your book. You know, I actually thought about buying one of these, and then I remembered, I own a lamp.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.72/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (79)

One night, as a couple lay ...

One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently tapped his wife on the shoulder and started rubbing her arm. His wife turned over and said, "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." Her husband, rejected, turned over and tried to sleep. A few minutes later, he rolled back over and tapped his wife again. This time he whispered in her ear, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 11 January 2010
  • Currently 5.27/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (56)

Two Musicians’ in a major sy...

Two Musicians’ in a major symphonic orchestra were discussing who they thought the LEAST talented musician in the band was. One of them said; that’s easy. See that guy standing in the back? Well, we just put two sticks in his hands and we call him a Drummer. The other responded; well, if we take one stick away, we call him a Conductor!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 November 2009
  • Currently 4.09/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (11)

The Wedding

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 18 August 2009
  • Currently 5.26/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (65)

Mike Vecchione: Favorite Place to Taser

My favorite place to taser people: the Renaissance Fair. The Renaissance Fair cause it makes me feel like an evil wizard from the future.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 May 2011
  • Currently 5.14/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (37)

A guy was in a cave, looking f...

A guy was in a cave, looking for treasure. He found an old lamp, rubbed it, and a genie came out. The genie said "I will grant you three wishes, but your ex-wife will get double." The man agreed, and said "I wish I had a mansion." The genie granted it, and his ex-wife got two mansions. The man said "I would like a million dollars." The genie again granted it and his ex-wife got two million dollars. Then the man said, "Scare me half to death."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 May 2011
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (36)

Hourse Rider

A blonde decides to learn and try horse back riding assisted without any experience or lessons.

She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion.

It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

Out of shear terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip.

She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but slides down the side of the horse anyway.

The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider.

Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup.

She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again.

As her head is battered against the ground, she is moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Todd, the Wall-Mart Manager, runs out to turn the horse off.

Editted by Curtis

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 May 2011
  • Currently 5.23/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (13)

The original title for Alien v...

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 May 2011
  • Currently 2.85/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (13)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.