Jokes of the day for Saturday, 06 October 2012

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 06 October 2012
  • Currently 9.59/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (39)

Hilarious jokes-Bridal

Rick, a young jockey and his stable lass girlfriend decided to get married. Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week. The marriage goes without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon. While checking in the lady behind the desk asks
'We have two suites available for you, would you like the bridal?' '

'No thanks' says the jockey 'I'll just hold her ears till she gets the hang of it!'
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Top ten signs your Amish teen is in trouble...

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 a.m.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full 'KISS' makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, 'Thou sucketh.'

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by 'Jeb Daddy.'

5. Defiantly says, 'If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap.'

4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.

3. Uses slang expression, 'Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening.'

2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese.

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Funny video of the day - Dancing Fails Compilation

Dancing Fails Compilation - Funny fails on dance - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Generic Viagra

Q: Do you know the generic name for Viagra?

A: Mikoxafloppin

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 2.78/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (9)

50 Years of Marriage

An old couple is having breakfast when the old woman says to her husband, "Just think, honey, we've been married for 50 years.?"
"Yes," he replies. "Fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together. And we were probably naked as jaybirds."
"Well," the old woman snickers, "should we get naked again for old time's sake?"
So they strip off their clothing and sit back down at the table. "You know," the old woman says breathlessly, "my nipples are as hot for you today as they were 50 years ago."

SnapSluts

"I'm not surprised," replies the old man. "One's in your coffee and the other's in your oatmeal!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Family Bible

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, “It's Adam's Suit!”

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke Diary - Really Funny Jokes Daily
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (34)

A very shy guy goes into a bar...

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at thebar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to herand asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for awhile?"
She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep withyou tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinksback to his table.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. Shesmiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm agraduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond toembarrassing situations."
To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 12 July 2012
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (9)

What number comes next?

Look at the series (31, 124, 868, 19096, ?), determine the pattern, and find the value of the next number!
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

When Chuck Norris says "More c...

When Chuck Norris says "More cowbell", he MEANS it.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 April 2011
  • Currently 3.15/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (13)

Cannibals capture three men. ...

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 03 January 2011
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (6)

Nuns Confessional

Four nuns are standing in line for confession. The first nun goes into the confessional and says bless me father for I have sinned I touched a man’s private parts.

The priest asks, "What part of your body did you use?"

The nun replies, "My right hand."

The priest tells her to dip her right hand in holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven.

The second nun goes into the confessional and says, "Bless me father for I have sinned I touched a mans private parts."

The priest asks, "What part of your body did you use?"

The nun replies, "My left hand." The priest tells her to dip her left hand in the holy water say 10 hail Mary’s and all will be forgiven.

Well, this leaves the third and fourth nun standing in line. The fourth nun taps the third nun on the shoulder and asks, "Would you mind if I went first?"

The third nun says, "Sure I don't care, but would mind telling me why?"

The fourth nun replies, "Well, I would like to drink the water before you have to sit in it!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 October 2010
  • Currently 6.94/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (32)

Mommy Mommy 13


Mommy, Mommy! I like my brother very much.
All right, you can take another slice.


Mommy, Mommy! I don't want to empty the compost heap.
Shut up and keep eating.


Mommy, Mommy! I don't like fishing.
Shut up and stop squirming.


Mommy, Mommy! Suzi got run over by a steamroller.
Shut up. I'm in the bathroom, slide her under the door.
[Alt answer] Shut up and get the maple syrup.


"Come upstairs, son, like a good boy."
"No, Mommy, you'll only throw me down again."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 October 2011
  • Currently 3.93/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (27)

We live in an expanding univer...

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 October 2011
  • Currently 3.22/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (27)

Two Old Drunks

Two old drunks are sitting in a bar when the first one says, "Ya know, when I was thirty and got an erection, I couldn't bend it, even using both hands.
By the time I was forty, I could bend it about ten degrees if I tried really hard.
By the time I was fifty, I could bend it about forty five degrees, no problem.
I'm gonna be sixty next week, and now I can bend it in half with just one hand."
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 October 2010
  • Currently 7.38/10

Rating: 7.4/10 (26)

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