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Jokes of the day for Thursday, 07 February 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 07 February 2013

An executive was interviewing ...

An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

She quickly responded, "The living one."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

“I got a small ticket...

“I got a small ticket for speeding. It's fine with me.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

SLIDESHOW #81 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Stuck nuts

Sitting at home one night with his wife, a man is casually tossing peanuts into the air and catching them in his mouth. As the couple take in the latest episode of their favorite program, the man loses concentration for a split second, and a peanut goes into his ear. He tries to get it out, but succeeds only in forcing the thing in awfully deep.

After a few hours of fruitless rooting the couple decide to go to the hospital, but on their way out of the front door they meet their daughter coming in with her new boyfriend.

The boyfriend takes control of the situation; he tells them he's studying medicine and that they're not to worry about a thing. He then sticks two fingers up the man's nose and asks him to blow, and low and behold, the nut shoots from the ear and out across the room.

As the daughter and her boyfriend go through to the kitchen to get drinks, the man and his wife sit down to discuss their luck.

"So" the wife says, "what do you think he'll become after he finishes school? A GP or a surgeon?"

Peanuts!!!...

"Well,” says the man, rubbing his nose, "by the smell of his fingers, I think he's going to become our son-in-law."

#joke
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (4)

Funny video of the day - Unbelievable Little Kid Does a Trick Shot Video

Unbelievable Little Kid Does a Trick Shot Video - Amazing shots from a kid (Titus) between 18 and 24 months old. He began shooting baskets shortly after learning to walk, we started filming some, and then got totally carried away. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (3)

Short funny jokes-National debt

The world was supposed to end in the year 2012.
Have you noticed the national debt? Now that the world hasn't ended, we are so screwed!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (2)

Funny Photo of the day - Now ti is cool enough

Now ti is cool enough - I can watch Ronaldo whole day | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (7)

An executive was interviewing ...

An executive was interviewing a young woman for a position in his company. He wanted to learn something about her personality, so he asked, "if you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"

She quickly responded, "The living one."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 2.50/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (4)

Why No Luck?

Ole and Lena are driving home from a party one night when Ole gets pulled over for speeding. The officer comes to the window and asks Ole, "Sir, did you realize that you were speeding?"

"No sir," replies Ole, "I had no idea I was speeding."

Suddenly, Lena blurts out, "Yeah you did Ole! You were speeding and you knew it the whole time!"

"Would you be quiet Lena, this isn't the time or the place!"

"Well, you were speeding and now you're trying to lie about it," says Lena.

Ole replies, "Will you just shut up for once, I'm sick of you bossing me around!"

The officer, still standing at the window of the car is surprised at the way Ole is talking to his wife. He asks, "Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you like this?"

"No," she replies, "only when he's been drinking."

#joke
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (5)

Bible Verses

A new pastor moved into town and went out one Saturday to

visit his parishioners. All went well until he came to one

house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came

to the door even after he had knocked several times.

Finally, he took out his card, wrote on the back

"Revelation 3:20" and stuck it in the door.

The next day, as he was counting the offering he found his

card in the collection plate. Below his message was notation

"Genesis 3:10".

Revelation 3:20 reads: "Behold, I stand at the door and

knock. If any man hear my voice, and opens the door, I will

come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me."

Genesis 3:10 reads: "And he said, I heard thy voice in the

garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked."

#joke
  • Currently 6.21/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (14)

Anti-Bush/Cheney Campaign Slogan

Bush and Dick: Put 'em together and you're screwed.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (6)

Knock Knock Collection 052


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Donovan!
Donovan who?
Donovan know your own name!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dora!
Dora who?
Dora wood!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doris!
Doris who?
Doris slammed on my finger. Ouch!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Dotty!
Dotty who?
Dotty way the cookie crumbles!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Doug!
Doug who?
Doug good deeds and you'll go to heaven!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Chuck Norris' body temperature...

Chuck Norris' body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 June 2011
  • Currently 3.93/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (14)

Demetri Martin: Exit Only

I saw a sign on this door; it said, Exit Only. So, I entered it and went up to the guy working there, and I was like, I have some good news. You have severely underestimated this door over here by, like, 100%, man.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 February 2011
  • Currently 4.56/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (71)

Three Travelers

Three travelers, an American, a Russian, and an Egyptian, were circumnavigating the globe a la Jules Verne. The Russian man put his hand out and reached down into the clouds.

“Aaah!” he said. “We're right over my homeland.”

“How can you tell?” asked the American.

“I can feel the cold air.” he replied.

A few days later the African man put his hand through the clouds.

“Aah we're right over my homeland.” he said.

“How do you know that?” asked the Russian.

“I can feel the heat of the desert.”

Several more days later the American put his hand through the clouds.

“Aah, we're right over New York.” The Russian and the African were amazed.

“How do you know all of that?!” they exclaimed.

The American pulled his hand in and held it up for them to see. “My watch is missing.”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 February 2012
  • Currently 6.66/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (58)

Contrary to popular belief, th...

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 February 2012
  • Currently 2.74/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (54)

Grandpa and God

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?”
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “Now, how are we alike?”
“You’re both old,” he replied.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 07 February 2009
  • Currently 2.67/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (51)

The General Managers of Cascad...

The General Managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (NewSouth Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) were at a national beer conference.
They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.
The General Manager of Tooheys says without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."
The General Manager of Cascade smiles and says, "I'll have a Cascade Draught, brewed from pure mountain water."
The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."
The bloke from XXXX says, "I'll have a XXXX, the cleanest beer on the planet."
The General Manager from Carlton glances at his lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head.
He just shrugs and says, "Well if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."
#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 07 February 2009
  • Currently 6.80/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (41)

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