Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 13 March 2013
  • Currently 9.60/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (47)

Clean jokes-Potatoes

1) How do you describe an angry potato?
Boiling Mad.

2) Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commontater.

3) Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.

4) What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.

5) What does an American potato say when it thinks something is wonderful?
It's mashing!
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (4)

“When the shoe store ...

“When the shoe store owner discovered that someone had broken into his store, the police pumped him for information.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (4)

Funny video of the day - Jump into little Muddy Puddle FAIL!

Jump into little Muddy Puddle FAIL! - What would Peppa Pig do? - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Ice Cream

An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now." Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said.
"I won't forget," the old gent said. "But, I want chocolate syrup and nuts on it. So, I'll write it down," she replied.
"I will get you the ice cream. Don't you worry," replied the gentleman.

Ice Cream

A few minutes later, the old man returned with bacon and eggs. His wife said, "See, I should have written it down because you forgot the toast."

#joke
Joke | Source: Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (7)

Google Ads

Son: Dad!, Dad! I got a part...

Son: Dad!, Dad! I got a part in the school play! I play the husband.

Dad: Too bad they did not give a speaking role.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Funny Photo of the day - New original haircut fro blondies

New original haircut fro blondies - Quick to make, easy to maintain | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Man: Is this seat empty?
...

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Two newlyweds...

Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. The husband says, "Honey, I want to stop and pick up some condoms before we go."

"Good idea," she says. "While you're in there, pick me up some Dramamine (sea sickness medicine)."

The groom gets out, walks into the drugstore and says to the clerk, "I'd like a box of condoms and a package of Dramamine, please."

"Yes sir, says the clerk, "but do you mind if I ask you a question? If it makes you nauseous, why do you do it?"

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Remove 5 letters from this seq...

Remove 5 letters from this sequence (UEDNEFAOILINGULY) to reveal a familiar English word.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Marriage Quotes 01


Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence--a life sentence.
Marriage is very much like a violin; after the sweet music is over, the strings are attached.
Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore, marriage is an institution for the blind.
Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.
Marriage is a thing which puts a ring on a woman's finger and two under the man's eyes.
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit.
Marriage is not just a having a wife, but also worries inherited forever.
Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
* The Engagement Ring
* The Wedding Ring
* The Suffe-Ring
* The Endu-Ring

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

The products which we offer are handcrafted items made of natural materials such as finest quality wool from the Sharr Mountains, silk, cotton and lace. It is all blended with natural soap....and...creativity. Here are some beautiful and unique fashion accessories.

Did you call me?

Jesus, Joseph, and Mary were doing chores around their home in Nazareth when suddenly, Jesus ran outside to Joseph, and asked, "Did you call me?"

"No, I'm sorry," Joseph replied, "I just hit my thumb with the hammer, again."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
  • Currently 2.67/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (6)

Childless Smokey the Bear

Q: Why did Smokey the Bear never have children?
A: Every time his wife got hot, he stamped her out.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (18)

Chuck Norris once roundhouse k...

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 17 January 2012
  • Currently 3.78/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (9)

Letter to Company

After trying a new shampoo for the first time, a guy fired off an enthusiastic letter of approval to the manufacturer.

Several weeks later he came home from work to a large carton in the middle of the floor. Inside were free samples of the many products the company produced: soaps, detergents, tooth paste, and paper items.

“Well, what do you think?” his wife asked smiling.

“Next time,” he replied. “I'm writing to General Motors!”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 March 2012
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (25)

Dogs in Heaven

Dear God,
When I get to heaven, can I sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?
Also, are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Thank You God,
The Dog
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member Jalus

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 13 March 2010
  • Currently 4.42/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (19)

Joe had asked Bob to help him ...

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place. When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her how beautiful she was and how much he had missed her at work. When it was time for supper, he complimented his wife on her cooking, kissed her and told her how much he loved her.
Once they were working on the deck, Bob told Joe that he was surprised that he fussed so much over his wife. Joe said that he'd started this about six months ago, it had revived their marriage, and things couldn't be better. Bob thought he'd give it a go. When he got home, he gave his wife a massive hug, kissed her and told her that he loved her. His wife burst into tears.
Bob was confused and asked why she was crying. She said, "This is the worst day of my life. First, little Billy fell off his bike and twisted his ankle. Then, the washing machine broke and flooded the basement. And now, you come home drunk!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 13 March 2011
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (15)

What happend here???

A guy comes home in the middle of the day, finds his wife standing in the middle of their deluxe apartment wearing a red G-string, high heels, and the whole apartment is flooded.

"What happened here?" he asks.

"I think the waterbed busted," says the trembling wife.

Just then a guy floats by.

"Who's that?" demands the husband.

"I dunno. Must be a lifeguard."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 13 March 2009
  • Currently 4.93/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (14)

Shine On, You Crazy

How many Frat boys does it take to change a lightbulb?

11... One to hold the lightbulb, and 10 to drink until the room spins.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 March 2012
  • Currently 4.78/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (9)

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