Jokes of the day for Saturday, 06 April 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 06 April 2013
  • Currently 9.50/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (62)

Really funny jokes-Never say no to customer

The manager of a garden centre overhears one of his nurseryman talking to a customer. ‘No, we haven't had any of that in ages,' says the nurseryman. ‘And I don't know when we'll be getting any more.'
The customer leaves and the manager walks over to give him a telling off. ‘Never tell a customer we can't get them something,' he says. ‘Whatever they want we can always get it on order and deliver it. D'you understand?'
The nurseryman nods.
‘So what did he want?' asks the manager.
‘Rain,' replies the nurseryman.
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (5)

Misproununciation?

President Clinton walks into a restaurant and is seated at one of the finest tables. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a short skirt and legs that won't quit comes to his table.

"What would you like, Mr. President?" Clinton looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, and answers, "A quickie."

The waitress stomps off in total disgust.

After she regains her composure she returns and asks again: "What would you like, Mr. President?" Again Clinton thoroughly checks her out and again answers: "A quickie, please." This time her anger takesover, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A Secret Service agent, sitting at the next table, leans over and whispers, "Um, Mr. President, I think it's pronounced 'QUICHE'.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (8)

Funny video of the day - Ultimate Wedgie Jumping Stunt

Ultimate Wedgie Jumping Stunt - Very intelligent people, obviously - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (7)

Hahahahahaha

The joke is:























!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 1.98/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (58)

Jury Duty

A man was chosen for jury duty who really wanted to be dismissed from serving. He tried every excuse he could think of but none of them worked. On the day of the trial, he decided to give it one more shot. As the trial was about to begin, he asked if he could approach the bench.

"Your Honor", he said, "I must be excused from this trial because I am prejudiced against the defendant. I took one look at the man in the blue suit with those beady eyes and that dishonest face and I thought, 'He's a crook! He's guilty!' So, your Honor, I cannot possibly stay on this jury!"

The tired and annoyed judge replied, "Get back in the jury box, you fool.

That man is the lawyer!"

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

Funny Photo of the day - Just hanging in there

Just hanging in there - Enough hangers just for me! | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (8)

Photographer

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.
"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "And make several low-level passes."
"Why?" asked the nervous pilot.
"Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!"
The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (10)

When I got the bill ...

“When I got the bill for the engine rebuild, I blew a gasket!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous jokes on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (40)

Calculate the number 2045

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 2045 using numbers [7, 2, 5, 8, 78, 396] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Helisoft

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (34)

Chuck Norris can judge a book ...

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 27 August 2011
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (35)

Attending a wedding for the fi...

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing black?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 29 April 2011
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (8)

Maria Bamford: Fulfilling Potential

Im afraid that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting around time.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 April 2012
  • Currently 4.49/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (39)

This reminds me of something y...

This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and…
“Where does mommy live?”
“Minneapolis.”
“Where does grandma live?”
“Baltimore.”
“Where does grandpa live?”
“Baltimore.”
“And where does daddy live?”
“At work!”
Needless to say, he took the morning off that next […]
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 April 2010
  • Currently 5.64/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (28)

Truman at the Washington Garden Club....

Harry Truman was known for his blunt manner of speaking. When he made a speech at the Washington Garden Club, he kept referring to the "good manure" that needed to be used on the flowers.

Some society women complained to his wife, Bess. "Couldn't you get the President to say 'fertilizer'?" they asked.

Mrs. Truman replied, "Heavens, no! It took me twenty-five years to get him to say 'manure.'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 April 2009
  • Currently 5.76/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (17)

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