Jokes of the day for Friday, 19 April 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 19 April 2013
  • Currently 9.60/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (48)

Good physique

Just a thought: Nowadays, a man spends quite some time in acquiring good physique rather than good knowledge.

Reason: He knows a woman may be dumb but not blind.
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (7)

“When the window fell...

“When the window fell into the incinerator, it was a pane in the ash to retrieve.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

Funny video of the day - Jump Rope Girl - World's Best Jump Roper!!!

Jump Rope Girl - World's Best Jump Roper!!! - All the amazing girl do jumping with a rope! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

Wedding vows...

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. "Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change the wedding vows.

When you get to me and the part where I'm to promise to 'love, honor and obey' and 'forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that part out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied.

It is now the day of the wedding, and the bride and groom have moved to that part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it comes time for the groom's vows, the pastor looks the young man in the eye and says:

"Will you promise to obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."

The groom leaned toward the pastor and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."

The pastor put the $100 bill into his hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."

#joke
  • Currently 2.60/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (5)

Tonto and buffalo

The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding on the range one day. The two came to a stop, where Tonto jumped off his horse and put his head on the ground to listen to see if anyone was coming.

After a few seconds he rose and said "Buffalo come."

The Lone Ranger was amazed and proclaimed "Damn you Indians are smart, how the hell did you know there were buffaloes coming?"

Tonto replied, "Face sticky."

#joke
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (5)

Funny Photo of the day - Flip flop lock…

Flip flop lock… - Good idea if you want to keep your flip flops safe :) | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Blonde and Cool Elephants

Q: What did the blonde say when she saw a herd of elephants with sunglasses on?
A: Nothing, she didn't recognize them.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (7)

Ex-Girlfriend

A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "she's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

#joke
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (9)

Find number abc

If acb5a - 2a2c9 = 5a4a9 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

What Is One Billion?


According to a recent government publication ...
A billion seconds ago Harry Truman was president.
A billion minutes ago was just after the time of Christ.
A billion hours ago man had not yet walked on earth.
A billion dollars ago was late yesterday at the U.S. Treasury.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.42/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (12)

Chuck Norris recently added "m...

Chuck Norris recently added "moose" to his list of "animals that tried to fight me and lost."
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 November 2011
  • Currently 4.53/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (15)

A Very Minor Sin

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper, "Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?""Yes," the professor answered. "When I was a young candidate at the Hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not see it, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now."
"Well," said the gatekeeper. "That is a very minor sin. You may enter."
"Thank you very much, Saint Peter," the professor answered.
"You're welcome, but I am not Saint Peter," said the gatekeeper. "He is having his lunch break. I am Saint Lucas."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 April 2011
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (29)

Three young boys were boasting...

Three young boys were boasting about their grandpas. The first boy said: "My grandpa is a great swimmer. He can swim for hours before getting out of the water!" The second boy said, "That's nothing. My grandpa always goes swimming at 6:00 in the morning every day, and only comes back at 9:00 pm because my mom says he has to!" The third boy says, "Your grandpas are both bad at swimming! My grandpa started swimming in this pond 20 years ago, and he hasn't come out since!!!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 January 2010
  • Currently 4.14/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (7)

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky...

Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 April 2011
  • Currently 2.24/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (41)

A trip to the dentist...

A woman phoned her dentist when she received a huge bill.

"I'm shocked!" she complained.

"This is three times what you normally charge."

"Yes, I know," said the dentist. "But you screamed so loudly, you scared away two other patients."

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 19 April 2009
  • Currently 6.29/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (38)

Biblical Puns

Q: What was the secret of Delilah getting into Samson’s house?
A: She picked his locks.
Q: Why didn’t Pharaoh let the Israelites go into the wilderness after the first six plagues?
A: He was in de Nile.
Q: Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
A: He didn’t want to split hairs.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 19 April 2009
  • Currently 3.44/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (32)

Bret Ernst: Blame America

Everybody likes to blame America for everything. What are we, only 233 years old? These other countries are thousands of years old. Not only did they not get it right, but a lot of times they screw up and ask us for help. Thats like a 90-year-old man asking a two-year-old for advice.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 19 April 2010
  • Currently 4.72/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (29)

A Very Minor Sin

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates he was asked by the gatekeeper, "Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?""Yes," the professor answered. "When I was a young candidate at the Hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against a team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was off-side. But the referee did not see it, and the goal won us the match. I regret that now."
"Well," said the gatekeeper. "That is a very minor sin. You may enter."
"Thank you very much, Saint Peter," the professor answered.
"You're welcome, but I am not Saint Peter," said the gatekeeper. "He is having his lunch break. I am Saint Lucas."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 April 2011
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (29)

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