Jokes of the day for Thursday, 25 April 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 25 April 2013
  • Currently 9.46/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (71)

Hilarious jokes-Hollywood bride

Donna, the Hollywood actress had a puzzled expression as the young groom carried her across the threshold.

As soon as he lowered her, Donna asked, "This place seems to be familiar. Have we been married before?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (4)

“A shotgun is an exha...

“A shotgun is an exhausted rifle.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.29/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Chunking Watermelon 30 seconds or less (ORIGINAL)

Chunking Watermelon 30 seconds or less (ORIGINAL) - Summer is coming, time for watermelons - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Used Car

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them if they were stealing the car. They said "Heavens no, we bought it."
He said, "Then why don't you drive it away".
Each of the women said "We can't drive".
The officer momentarily shook his head and then asked "Then why did you buy it?"
They answered, "We were told if we bought a car here, we'd get screwed, so we are just waiting.

#joke
  • Currently 7.33/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (40)

Dead?

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket.

They hear a faint moan.

They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies.

A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket.

As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the damn wall!"

#joke
  • Currently 3.33/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (3)

Funny Photo of the day - Great parking spot for bicycle

Great parking spot for bicycle - If non of offered parking spots fit, easy to find good one! | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (6)

Cold Medicine

Mary and Liz (a blonde) were talkin in the office one day.

Mary: "Wow, that is some cold you have Liz."

Liz: "Tell me about it. I just cannot get rid of it."

Mary: "Try some Cold-Doc 3. I have a bottle in my desk. Just

take 3 tablespoons before you go to bed and you'll be fine.

Here ya go."

Liz: "Thanks, I'll give it a try."

Next Day

Liz was standing by her desk jumping up and down, waving her

arms in the air and kicking her legs out.

Mary: "Liz, It is nice to see you are feeling better. Is

that a new dance?"

Liz: "Oh No. I still don't feel that great. I took the

medicine you gave me and just realized it said to shake well

before using."

#joke #blonde
  • Currently 3.56/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (9)

Celtic Mortality

What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

One less drunk.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.24/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (33)

Calculate the number 483

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 483 using numbers [6, 8, 9, 6, 45, 212] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Faster than a speeding bullet....

Faster than a speeding bullet...more powerful than a locomotive...able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...yes, these are some of Chuck Norris' warm-up exercises.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 August 2011
  • Currently 2.38/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (40)

Moshe Reads an Arab Newspaper

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? Why are you reading an Arab newspaper?"Moshe replied, "I used to read the Jewish newspaper, but what did I find? Jews being persecuted, Israel being attacked, Jews disappearing through assimilation and intermarriage, Jews living in poverty. So I switched to the Arab newspaper. Now what do I find? Jews own all the banks, Jews control the media, Jews are all rich and powerful, Jews rule the world. The news is so much better!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 November 2010
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (46)

A Midget Fortune Teller


Queen Nyteshade had two claims to fame. She could tell fortunes and she was a midget. The local authorities frowned on her because they thought that fortune telling was fraudulent. They had Queeny arrested. She was placed in a holding cell. Since she was so small she was able to squeeze between the bars of her cell and escape. This to incensed the judge that he ordered the local newspaper to print an article about the culprit. The following was printed in the paper the next day. Small medium at large.





#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 27 June 2008
  • Currently 5.22/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (9)

Imagine that

Can u believe what people do in the church these days?

I was in the church listening tothe priest's sermon when i saw a guy smoking cigarettes inside the church.

I was so amazed that i didn't know when the bottle of beer i was holding fell on the floor.

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 April 2012
  • Currently 4.47/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (38)

Knock Knock Collection 057


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Egypt!
Egypt who?
Egypt you when he sold you a broken door bell!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Elaine!
Elaine who?
Elaine of the freeway!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Eileen!
Eileen who?
Eileen over to tie up my shoes!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Elektra!
Elektra who?
Elektra circus!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Elias!
Elias who?
Elias a terrible thing!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 25 April 2011
  • Currently 3.10/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (10)

A traveler wandering on an isl...

A traveler wandering on an island inhabited by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialized in human brains sorted out according to source.

The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/lb
Philosophers' Brains $12/lb
Scientists' Brains $15/lb
Blondes' Brains $100/lb

Upon reading the sign, the traveler noted, "My, those beekeepers' brains are expensive - they must be very powerful!"

The butcher replied, "Not really. They're expensive because it takes so many Blondes to get one pound of brains!!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 April 2009
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (9)

Pap smear

Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 25 April 2011
  • Currently 2.22/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (9)

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