Jokes of the day for Saturday, 15 June 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 15 June 2013
  • Currently 9.60/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (78)

Leave a sample...

An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing.

After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, "Right, I'll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis."

The old man didn't quite hear the Doctor and asks his wife, "What did the Doctor say?"

The wife replies, "He wants you to leave your underpants here, dear."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (8)

Grape story

Question: Did the grape say anything when someone stepped on it?

Answer: It did not say anything, but it gave out a little whine when it was crushed.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 4.86/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Chimp Takes a Bath

Chimp Takes a Bath - Chloe the Chimp enjoys taking long bubble baths. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (7)

A fellow bought a new Mercedes...

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."
The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"
"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.
#joke #friday
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.83/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (6)

“Rental agents offer ...

“Rental agents offer quarters for dollars.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.46/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (13)

Funny Photo of the day - How to carry a dog

How to carry a dog - Just watch your back | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (10)

Reaching the end of a job inte...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.16/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (37)

There used to be a street name...

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 13 August 2011
  • Currently 3.16/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (45)

Find number abc

If 3a131 - c0c6c = 1486b find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Short Father Christmas


What do you get if you cross Father Christmas with a detective?
Santa Clues!
Father Christmas win a saucepan in a competition.
Now thats what you call pot luck!
Christmas Elf
What do the reindeer sing to Father Christmas on his birthday ?
Freeze a jolly good fellow !
What do you call a man who claps at Christmas ?
Santapplause !
Twinkle Twinkle chocolate bar
Santa drives a rusty car
Press the starter
Press the choke
Off he goes in a cloud of smoke !
Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?
Santa Jaws !
Why does Father Christmas like to work in the garden ?
Because he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe !
Why is a cat on a beach like Christmas ?
Because they both have "Sandy claws" !
What does Father Christmas call his money ?
Iced lolly ?
What's Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ?
Santa pause !

#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 02 August 2011
  • Currently 4.82/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (11)

Macgyver can build an airplane...

Macgyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 June 2011
  • Currently 2.25/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (32)

Shooting The Bull

Two hunters went moose hunting every winter without success. Finally, they came up with a foolproof plan. They got a very authentic female moose costume and learned the mating call of a female moose. The plan was to hide in the costume, lure the bull, then come out of the costume and shoot the bull. They set themselves up on the edge of a clearing, donned their costume and began to give the moose love call. Before long, their call was answered as a bull came crashing out of the forest and into the clearing. When the bull was close enough, the guy in front said, "Okay, let's get out and get him." After a moment that seemed like an eternity, the guy in the back shouted, "The zipper is stuck! What are we going to do?" The guy in the front says, "Well, I'm going to start nibbling grass, but you'd better brace yourself."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 June 2012
  • Currently 6.23/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (26)

Recalled Chrstimas Toys


Recalled Christmas Toys


  1. Broken Bag-O-Glass

  2. Dr. Kevorkian First Aid Kit

  3. Jeffrey Domhers Easy Bake oven and cookbook

  4. Timothy McVays home Chemistry set

  5. Switchblade Barney

  6. Pork-n-Beany Babies

  7. Make your own moonshine kit

  8. Mike Tyson Doll (with ear biting action)






#joke #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 15 June 2008
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (25)

Vic Henley: Soccer Heckling

All the British fans start singing to the German fans, If you won the war, stand up! Right, I think this is the greatest thing Ive ever heard at a sporting event because theres no snappy comeback for that, is there?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 15 June 2010
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (24)

Jonathan Corbett: Retired Father

My dad is retired now, and he moved to Florida. And its really great to be able to finally go down and visit him now that hes finally able to do those things in life that hes always wanted to do, which apparently is start drinking at noon and then head on out to buy me ugly shirts.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 15 June 2011
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (24)

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