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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 25 June 2013

Guys and Dolls

Two drunk guys try to pick up some girls. The girls take the drunk guys home, slip blowup dolls into their beds and leave.
The next morning, the one guy tells the other guy, "I think my girl was a witch! When I bit her on the tit, she hissed and flew away."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.78/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (9)

Short funny jokes-Liposuction

Q. What did the patient say to the irritating doctor during her Liposuction surgery?

A. Doctor, you are really beginning to get under my skin!!
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 6.36/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (11)

SLIDESHOW #56 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“The landscaper thoug...

“The landscaper thought gardening magazines were fun to leaf through.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (5)

Funny video of the day - Illusionist Dynamo defy gravity by 'levitating' beside London double-decker bus

Illusionist Dynamo defy gravity by 'levitating' beside London double-decker bus - Although it was clear something was up on the number 543 bus (which does not exist in real life), nobody who saw the stunt could understand how he had actually pulled it off. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

A police recruit was asked dur...

A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you
had to arrest your own mother?"
He said: "Call for backup."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (4)

Funny Photo of the day - Is this bicycle tall enough?

Is this bicycle tall enough? - Or should we put bigger wheels? | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.78/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (9)

The three wishes...

One day, a man was walking down the street when he saw a genie lamp in a nearby alley. Excitedly, he picked it up and rubbed it. A genie came out and said, "I will grant you three wishes, Master!"

The man was so happy, his first wish was, "I want a billion dollars!!!!!!"

"Your wish has been granted, a billion dollars is now in your bank account."

The man was even happier. "I want a beautiful woman!"

"Your wish has been granted," the genie said and a beautiful woman appeared!

"This is great!" said the man. Not wanting to waste his last wish, he decided to think about it for awhile longer. "I can't think of another wish right now, can I tell you later?"

"Make it so, whenever you say your wish, it will be granted."

The next day, the man was driving down the road, as happy as ever. He heard a popular commercial song on the radio and decided to sing along with it.

"Oooooh, I wish I were an Oscar-Mayer weinerrr......"

#joke
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Scary Collection 20


A vampire joke
What does a vampire say to the mirror?
Terror, terror on the wall...!

A skeleton joke
How do skeletons call their friends?
On the telebone!

A skeleton joke
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin!

A werewolf joke
Mummy, mummy what's a werewolf?
Be quiet and brush your face!

A werewolf joke
What parting gift did the werewolf parents give to their son when he left home?
A comb!

A witch joke
What is evil, ugly and goes at 125 mph?
A witch on a high speed train!

A skeleton joke
What's a skeleton's favourite musical instrument?
A trom-bone!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Fallen bridge

A blond and her blond boyfriend went for a walk along the river.

The blond walked across alone on a wooden bridge. After crossing the river, the bridge fell down.

She called across to her blond boyfriend telling him that she couldn't get back.

He yelled in response, "Wait until dark, and I will shine my flash light across the river. Get on the light beam and walk back."

She replied, "No, I'll get half way across the river, and you will turn the light off on me!"

#joke
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

The Bear

Two campers where hiking in the forest when all of a sudden a bear jumps out of a bush and starts chasing them.
Both campers start running for their lives when one of them stops and starts to put on his running shoes.
His partner says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

Grizzly Bear - Animal - Wildlife - Alaska

His friend replies, "I don't have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!"

#joke
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (6)

Reaching the end of a job inte...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.73/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (44)

The Old Preacher

An old preacher was dying. He sent a message for his IRS agent and his lawyer, both church members, to come to his home. When they arrived, they were ushered up to his bedroom. As they entered the room, the preacher held out his hands and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed. The preacher grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything. Both the IRS agent and the attorney were touched and flattered that the old preacher would ask them to be with him during his final moment. They were also puzzled because the preacher had never given any indication that he particularly liked either one of them.
Finally, the lawyer asked, "Preacher, why did you ask the two of us to come?"
The old preacher mustered up some strength, then said weakly, "Jesus died between two thieves, and that's how I want to go, too."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 25 June 2012
  • Currently 4.70/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (10)

Chuck Norris can eat just one ...

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 28 October 2011
  • Currently 3.73/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (15)

Some kids play Kick the can. C...

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 June 2011
  • Currently 2.11/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (47)

Computer Problem Report Form

Describe your problem:

Now, describe the problem accurately:

Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:

Problem Severity:

A. Minor

B. Minor

C. Minor

D. Trivial

Nature of the problem:

A. Locked Up

B. Frozen

C. Hung

D. Shot

Is your computer plugged in? Yes No

Is it turned on? Yes No

Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes No

Have you made it worse? Yes

Have you read the manual? Yes No

Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes No

Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No

Do you think you understood it? Yes No

If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

How tall are you? Are you above this line?

What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

If `nothing' explain why you were logged in.

Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes No

How does this problem make you feel?

Tell me about your childhood

Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes No

Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.38/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (42)

Fred & Saddam

Q: How is Saddam like Fred Flintstone?

A: Both look out their windows and see Rubble.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 25 June 2011
  • Currently 3.37/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (38)

Juston McKinney: Parking Tickets in New York

The first ticket I got in Manhattan I thought was a misprint. Im like, No, this has got to be a mistake. You put a quarter in the meter out there and it runs out, its a $55 fine. Thats a little excessive. Now, I could see it if you parked in a handicapped persons living room, but not for the meter running out. It goes from 25 cents to $55. Thats a 22,000% increase.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 25 June 2010
  • Currently 3.50/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (32)

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