Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 06 August 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 06 August 2013
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (60)

Wife renovating house

Gary asks his neighbor, "What should I do while my wife is renovating the house?"

The neighbor answers, "Keep yourself busy. If you are able to work with tools, you can complete the basement. When you're done, you'll at least have a place to live."
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 6.40/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (5)

“The trampoline was o...

“The trampoline was on sale for fifty per cent off. Needless to say I jumped on the offer.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.20/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (5)

Funny video of the day - Lipton Ice Tea: Solar Water Fight 2013

Lipton Ice Tea: Solar Water Fight 2013 - The biggest water fight in the Netherlands ever - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.17/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (6)

Oak

A young woman asks her mother, "Mom, how many kind of penises are there?"
The mother, surprised, answers, "Well, daughter, a man goes through three phases. In a man's twenties, a man's penis is like an oak, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree."
"A Christmas tree?" the young woman asks.
"Yes, dried up and the balls are there for decoration only."

#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (7)

A passenger in a taxi leaned o...

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
#joke
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 8.14/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (35)

Funny Photo of the day - Jumping hart

Jumping hart - Funny girls, how will they land? | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

Moth inspector

A man walks in his room after work and is suprised to find his wife lying naked on the bed. After careful examination he spies a pair of bare feet sticking out from underneath the curtains. He rips open the blinds to find a naked man standing there.

'Who the hell are you?' he yells.

The naked guy replies 'I'm the moth inspector'

'Oh yeah! what are you doing naked?'

He looks down and exclaims 'Oh my god! I'm too late!'

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.20/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (5)

Mickey and Donald in a Foxhole

Q: Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?
A: Because Donald ducked.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Find the right combination

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Wyoming Crazy Law


  • You may not take a picture of a rabbit during the month of June.
  • It is illegal to wear a hat that obstructs people's view in a public theater or place of amusement.
  • It is illegal for women to stand within five feet of a bar while drinking.

    Cheyenne


  • Citizens may not take showers on Wednesdays.

    #joke
  • Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 10 August 2011
    • Currently 3.70/10

    Rating: 3.7/10 (10)

    If you have five dollars and C...

    If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
    #joke #short #chucknorris
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 24 July 2011
    • Currently 3.56/10

    Rating: 3.6/10 (34)

    A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

    "I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures."

    #joke #short
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 15 May 2009
    • Currently 4.83/10

    Rating: 4.8/10 (40)

    Blondie Plays Poker

    Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen

    french fries to a poker game?

    Someone told her to bring her own chips.

    #joke #short #blonde
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 October 2008
    • Currently 4.60/10

    Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

    Golf in Heaven

    Bill, the avid golfer, contacts a "Medium" and asks if there is a golf course in Heaven.

    The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days.

    After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium.

    "Well," said Bill, "What did ya find out?"

    "I've got good news and bad news for you," said the Medium.

    "OK, what's the good news?" Bill exclaimed.

    "Well, there is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you'll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy," blurted out the Medium!!

    "And the bad news?" asked Bill.

    "You're due to tee-off this Sunday at around 10:30 in the morning," the Medium said!

    #joke
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
    • Currently 7.21/10

    Rating: 7.2/10 (28)

    Three Vampires Go To A Bar

    Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
    The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
    The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."
    The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"
    #joke
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
    • Currently 5.58/10

    Rating: 5.6/10 (26)

    Michael Ian Black: Ambien Racing Game

    Heres how you play: on your drive home tonight... when you get, like, 15, 20 minutes away from your house, take an Ambien -- and then just try to beat it. Really fun, and it makes the last part of the drive go really fast, you guys.
    #joke #short
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
    • Currently 4.41/10

    Rating: 4.4/10 (22)

    Worst reply of a proposal...

    Girl: I love you!
    Boy: Hmm... And tell me, whats up??
    #joke #short
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
    • Currently 4.57/10

    Rating: 4.6/10 (21)

    Burglary Witness

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case.

    The defense lawyer asked Sam, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"

    "Yes," said Sam, "I saw him plainly take the goods."

    The lawyer asks Sam again, "Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"

    "Yes, says Sam. "I saw him do it."

    Then the lawyer asks Sam, "Sam, listen, you are an 80-year-old, and your eyesight is probably bad. Just how far can you see at night?"

    Sam says, "I can see the moon. How far is that?"

    #joke #lawyer
    Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 06 August 2008
    • Currently 5.73/10

    Rating: 5.7/10 (11)

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