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Jokes of the day for Friday, 23 August 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 23 August 2013

One line jokes-Engineer

You have the right to call yourself an engineer if you can use coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

“A silk tie can make ...

“A silk tie can make a winsome Windsor.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

SLIDESHOW #37 - Funny Photo Slideshow

Job Interview Question
<...

Job Interview Question

You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.
2. An old friend who once saved your life.
3. The perfect man (or) woman you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?

Think before you continue reading. This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer.
He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams."
Never forget to "Think Outside of the Box."

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

Funny video of the day - Best Dock Line Handler EVER

Best Dock Line Handler EVER - Boat magic - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 6.57/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (7)

Good doggie...

One fall day Bill was out raking leaves when he noticed a hearse slowly drive by. Following the first hearse was a second hearse, which was followed by a man walking solemnly along, followed by a dog, and then about 200 men walking in single file.

Intrigued, Bill went up to the man following the second hearse and asked him who was in the first hearse.

"My wife," the man replied.

"I'm sorry," said Bill. "What happened to her?"

"My dog bit her and she died."

Bill then asked the man who was in the second hearse. The man replied, "My mother-in-law. My dog bit her and she died as well."

Bill thought about this for a while. He finally asked the man, "Can I borrow your dog?"

To which the man replied, "Get in line."

#joke
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - Happy piglet eating ice cream

Happy piglet eating ice cream - Much better than the corn | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.10/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (10)

Breaking Up

Chuck had seen it coming for a time now, and Laura finally

decided to break up with him.

"I'm sorry Chuck, but you just don't have a good sense of

humor," Laura said one day, "You're dry, boring and you never

seem to say anything funny."

Chuck who didn't feel she was correct in the least, simply

smiled and said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, Laura. I'm

sure you'll make some guy very happy some day," she smiled

and blushed a little, "then, he'll zip up his pants, leave

$20 on the dresser, and forget to close the door on his way

out."

#joke
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

Superman and Batman

Superman once wrote on the wall: "Batman is a wimp."

The next day Batman wrote: "Superman is Clark Kent."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (8)

Pick-up line

A man sees a gorgeous and sexy woman standing alone at a bar. After tossing back a couple of shots he gets the nerve to approach her and says: "Hi, I was going to tell you a joke about my penis, but it's too long."
The woman looks at him for a moment and replies: "What a coincidence. I was going to tell you a joke about my ass, but you'll never get it."

#joke
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (12)

Knock Knock Collection 148


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Phoebe!
Phoebe who?
Phoebe too expensive for me!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Phyllis!
Phyllis who!
Phyllis in on the news!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Ping Pong!
Ping Pong who?
Ping Pong the witch is dead....!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pizza!
Pizza who?
Pizza the pie!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Plato!
Plato who?
Plato fish and chips please!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.17/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (6)

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.27/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (102)

Chuck Norris does not go hunti...

Chuck Norris does not go hunting. Chuck Norris goes killing.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 18 August 2011
  • Currently 2.69/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (54)

Blondes kids

A blonde was with her husband shopping and she decided that they would shop in different parts of the mall.

They meet in the middle 2 hours later and she announces, "I just got kids."

The husband stares amazed, looking at the kids he says, "Those are 2 baby goats!"

Submitted by bomberman255

Edited by Calamjo, Curtis and yisman

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 23 August 2010
  • Currently 2.49/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (67)

Sister Mary Ann

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was making her rounds. She was visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.
As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned
Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm becoming Catholic."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 23 August 2009
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (55)

Chuck Norris once sued Burger ...

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 August 2011
  • Currently 2.19/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (54)

Lavell Crawford: Get to Heaven

If I get to Heaven and God is white, Id be like, I knew it all along. Show me to the hood. But if I get to Heaven and God is black, thats going to piss me off a little bit. Id be like, Aint this a bitch? Youve been black all along? Aint you been seeing what the hells going on down there?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 August 2011
  • Currently 3.54/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (46)

Auctions and golf...

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.

The other night, as they slept, the golfer yelled, "Fore!"

His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter !"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 August 2008
  • Currently 3.09/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (22)

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