Jokes of the day for Saturday, 07 September 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 07 September 2013
  • Currently 9.65/10

Rating: 9.7/10 (84)

Mix Up at the Hospital

This guy went to hospital for a circumcision, but because of a mix up, he ended up having a complete sex change.

All of the doctors and nurses had gathered around his bed as he was waking up so they could give him the bad news.

Naturally, the poor guy went to pieces and started crying when they explained what had happened to him.

"Oh no!" he moaned, "this means I'll never be able to experience an erection ever again!"

"Of course you will," one of the doctors soothed. It'll just have to be someone else's, that's all."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.80/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (10)

Superbowl Ads

A man had 50 yard line tickets for the Super Bowl.
As he sat down, he noticed that the seat next to him was empty.
He asked the man on the other side of the empty seat whether anyone was sitting there.
"No," the man replied, "The seat is empty."
"This is incredible," said the first man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Super Bowl, the biggest sporting event in the world and not use it?"
The second man replied, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away.
This will be the first Super bowl we haven't been together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else -- a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"

Martin Johnson watching Wasps vs Bath


The man shook his head. "No, they're all at the funeral."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 5.10/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (10)

Funny video of the day - Twerk Fail: Girl Catches Fire

Twerk Fail: Girl Catches Fire - A girl tries to make a twerking video for her boyfriend and manages to catch fire in the process. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (10)

Funny jokes-Origins

There guys were discussing the origins of human beings and where did Adam and Eve come from.

Jack, the British guy, said, "They have to be British, only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman."
Pierre, the French guy claimed, "There is no doubt they were French. The French are so good at seducing women."
Bob, the American commented, "My guess is they were Russian. After all, who else could roam around naked, survive on one apple between the two of them and still feel they were in paradise?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.29/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (7)

Where are the monkeys?

The young lady strolled thru the National Zoo and finally paused in front of the monkey island. Mystified as to the whereabouts of the animals, she queried the keeper, "Where are all of the monkeys ?"

"They're all back in the cave Miss." he responded, "It's right in the midst of the mating season."

"I see." she replied, "Do you think they'd come out if I offered them some of these peanuts ?"

Smiling the keeper responding, "Well, I can't rightly say as I know Miss. Would *YOU*?"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Double face

Double face - With common eye | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.11/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (9)

Old Lady Visits A Museum

An old lady is visiting a museum and knocks over a large vase which smases on the ground. An attendant rushes over, aghast.
"That vase," the attendant cries, "was over five hundred years old!"
"Oh, thank God!" says the old lady. "I thought it was a new one."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (7)

Astrologer Booty Call... Planet

My third planet is misaligned. Can you adjust it for me?

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.43/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (7)

What a winning combination?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

“The concert violinis...

“The concert violinist believed in exercise, consequently, he was fit as a fiddle.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (11)

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Source: MHINTZ0929's Blog - New funny joke each day
  • Currently 5.01/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (93)

Chuck Norris can take an arrow...

Chuck Norris can take an arrow in the knee.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 26 July 2012
  • Currently 3.02/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (47)

More beer

A man came home from an exhausting day at work, plopped down on the couch in front of the television, and told his wife: "Get me a beer before it starts!"

The wife sighed and got him a beer.

Ten minutes later, he said: "Get me another beer before it starts!"

She looked cross, but fetched another beer and slammed it down next to him. He finished that beer and a few minutes later said: "Quick, get me another beer, it's going to start any minute!"

The wife was furious. "Is that all you're going to do tonight! Drink beer and sit in front of that TV! You're nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob and furthermore..."

The man sighed and said: "It's started."

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 07 September 2012
  • Currently 6.32/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (96)

Daniel Tosh: Saw Myself Naked

Saw myself naked in front of a mirror a couple days ago -- thats not the joke, thats what we called the setup. I saw myself naked, and I said, Holy cow, Im The White Man. Ive heard a lot of bad things about you, cracka.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 September 2010
  • Currently 2.61/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (31)

Rory Albanese: Kids With ADD

Follow this sentence: children who cant pay attention are considered to have a disorder. Children who cant pay attention? I dont know, he just wont focus. He could be seven. That could be the issue.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 September 2011
  • Currently 3.46/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (28)

Chuck Norris can stop mid-snee...

Chuck Norris can stop mid-sneeze...with his eyes open.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 September 2011
  • Currently 2.29/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (28)

Hunter Shot By Fox

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
Hunter Shot to Death By a Fox, Belgrade, Associated Press
A fox shot and killed a 38-year-old hunter in central Yugoslavia, the official Yugoslav news agency Tanjug reported yesterday.
Salih Hajdur, a farmer from the village of Gornje Hrasno in the Republic of Bosnia-Hercegovina, went to a nearby forest Sunday to shoot a fox, Tanjug said.
Hajdur wounded a fox in the leg, the agency said, but to spare the skin he did not fire again. Instead, he hit the animal with his refle butt. The struggling animal triggered a shot that hit Hajdur in the chest and killed him instantly, Tanjug said. The fox died later, Tanjug added.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 07 September 2011
  • Currently 4.71/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (24)

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