Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 01 October 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 01 October 2013
  • Currently 9.52/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (79)

Economist jokes-Forecast

"In my opinion," joked Professor Dhar in my MBA class who was teaching us Macroeconomics, "there are two types of Economists - the first category consists of those who cannot forecast interest rates, and the second category comprises of those who do not know that they cannot forecast interest rates."
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (7)

“After hours of waiti...

“After hours of waiting for the bowling alley to open, we finally got the ball rolling.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.11/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (9)

Funny video of the day - Impressive Cheerleading Stunts

Impressive Cheerleading Stunts - Amazing level of skill! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (15)

Did you hear about the dead ca...

Did you hear about the dead cabbage?
There was a big turnip at the funeral.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.13/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (8)

Expensive Barbie!

A man was driving home from work one evening when he suddenly realized that it was his daughter's birthday and he hadn't yet bought her a gift.

So, the man rushed off to the nearest toy store and asked the sales clerk, "How much is that Barbie in the window?"

The sales clerk replied in a condescending tone, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorce Barbie for $265.00."

The overwhelmed man asked, "Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 and all the others are only $19.95?"

"That's obvious!" said the sales clerk. "Divorce Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."

#joke
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (9)

Funny Photo of the day - Perfect barbicue solution

Perfect barbicue solution - You only have to drink beer first | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.92/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (13)

Business One-liners 63


If at first you don't succeed, give up. No use being a stupid fool.
If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not your sport.
If at first you don't succeed, transform your dataset.
If at first you don't succeed, try something else.
If at first you don't succeed, well...darn.
If at first you don't succeed, you probably didn't really care anyway.
If at first you don't succeed, you'll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn't succeed either.
If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
If at first you don't succeed, your successor will.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.14/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (7)

Tracks

3blonds see tracks 1 goes its deer tracks the other one goes its bull frog tracks the last one goes its analope tracks. then get hit by a train.

#joke #short
  • Currently 2.71/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (14)

Calculate the number 483

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 483 using numbers [6, 8, 9, 6, 45, 212] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Politically Speaking

"My uncle ran for Senate last year."

"Really? What does he do now?"

"Nothing. He got elected."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.70/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (10)

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 10 August 2013
  • Currently 5.01/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (93)

Chuck Norris invented the bear...

Chuck Norris invented the beard.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 14 August 2011
  • Currently 2.52/10

Rating: 2.5/10 (33)

A Heavenly Welcome

A contractor dies in a car accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself at the Pearly Gates. A brass band is playing, the angels are singing a beautiful hymn, there is a huge crowd cheering and shouting his name, and absolutely everyone wants to shake his hand.
Just when he thinks things can't possibly get any better, Saint Peter himself runs over, apologizes for not greeting him personally at the Pearly Gates, shakes his hand, and says, "Congratulations son, we've been waiting a long time for you."
Totally confused and a little embarrassed, the contractor sheepishly looks at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I tried to lead a God-fearing life, I loved my family, I tried to obey the 10 Commandments, but congratulations for what? I honestly don't remember doing anything really special when I was alive.""Congratulations for what?" says Saint Peter, totally amazed at the man's modesty. "We're celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old! God himself wants to see you!" The contractor is awestruck and can only look at Saint Peter with his mouth wide open. When he regains his power of speech, he looks up at Saint Peter and says "Saint Peter, I lived my life in the eternal hope that when I died I would be judged by God and be found to be worthy, but I only lived to be forty."
"That's simply impossible son," says Saint Peter. "We've added up your time sheets."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 19 June 2010
  • Currently 4.85/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (33)

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheet...

Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 01 October 2011
  • Currently 3.73/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (41)

Climb The Pole

A group of guys were chatting with a good-looking blonde and, somewhat improbably, asked her to climb this pole that was conveniently nearby.

For whatever reason, she decided to do it.

When she told her mother what happened, her mother scolded her:

"Don't you understand that they only wanted to see your underwear?"

The girl was understandably upset at being very stupid and naive, and decided to show those boys a thing or two.

The next day, they repeated their request, and when she came home she was beaming.

"What are you so happy about?" asked her mother.

"I totally showed them. Today I didn't even WEAR underwear!"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 01 October 2010
  • Currently 6.57/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (35)

Texas

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

“Say, is this really a healthy place?”

“It sure is,” the man replied.

“When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed.”

“That's wonderful!” said Bill. “How long have you been here?”

“I was born here.”

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 01 October 2011
  • Currently 6.85/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (33)

You might be a redneck if 22

You might be a redneck if...

Exxon and Conoco have offered you royalties for your hair.

Your dad is also your favorite uncle.

Your classes at school were cancelled because the path to the restroom was flooded.

During your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

You're a lite beer drinker, because you start drinking when it gets light.

On your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor.

Your parakeet knows the phrase "Open up, Police!"

You saved lots of money on your honeymoon by going deer hunting.

In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"

Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 01 October 2011
  • Currently 3.61/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (18)

Eliot Chang: That Stupid Friend

We all can agree, no matter what color you are, every group of friends has that one stupid friend. Look around you, youll find one. If you cant find one, its you.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 01 October 2011
  • Currently 3.11/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (18)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.