Jokes of the day for Saturday, 19 October 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 19 October 2013
  • Currently 9.61/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (71)

The trick side

Peter and Paul were talking about their wives.

"Have you ever done it doggie style with your wife?" asked Peter.

"Well, I don't think it qualifies," replied Paul, "She likes the trick side of it."

"Sounds like kinky stuff, huh?" said Peter.
"Well, not exactly. I sit up and beg and she rolls over and plays dead!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.55/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (11)

Lost in the supermarket...

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?"

"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (8)

Funny video of the day - Gas station attendant shows off his incredible dance moves (on top of a customer's car)

Gas station attendant shows off his incredible dance moves (on top of a customer's car) - Only in Russia. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.80/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (10)

eat me

One day there was this lion and zebra messing around. Until the lion's wife started to come towards them. The lion panic and said to the zebra "Quick hurry! pretend like I'm eating you!"

Ha Ha get it eating you

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.60/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (10)

Gay Termites

Q: What do gay termites eat?

A: Wood peckers.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.09/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (11)

Funny Photo of the day - Parenting - Romanian Style

Parenting - Romanian Style - Baby just hanging on the fence, literally | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.87/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (15)

“I suspected our new ...

“I suspected our new house guest was a terrorist. He asked to sleep on a blow up mattress.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 4.69/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (13)

Three old men

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily dysfunctions.

One 75-year-old man says: "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at 7 a.m. and it takes me 20 minutes to pee."

An 80-year-old man says: "My case is worse. I get up at 8 a.m. and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."

The 90-year-old man says: "Not me. At 7 a.m. I pee like a horse and at 8 a.m. I crap like a cow."

"So what's your problem?" asked the others.

"I don't wake up until 9:00."

#joke
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (38)

Find number abc

If aa8c5 - ab7a8 = 4c37 find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A grasshopper walks into a bar...

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, 'Hey, we have a drink named after you!'

The grasshopper looks surprised and says, 'You have a drink named Steve?'
#joke #short #walksintoabar
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 10 August 2013
  • Currently 5.01/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (93)

Chuck Norris once ordered a st...

Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 09 August 2011
  • Currently 3.04/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (46)

Woman Having Twins


A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins-if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 31 December 2010
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (12)

Kissing a Nun

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see if you qualify. #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a costume party."
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member socaliflady

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 11 September 2009
  • Currently 6.90/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (60)

Good news...bad news...

"I have good news and bad news," a defense attorney told his client.

"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."

"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is down to 140!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 October 2011
  • Currently 6.31/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (35)

Afraid of the Dark

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom.

The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 October 2010
  • Currently 5.64/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (33)

Jim Gaffigan: The Book vs. the Movie

You ever talk about a movie with someone that read the book? Theyre always so condescending. Ah, the book was much better than the movie. Oh really? What I enjoyed about the movie: no reading.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 19 October 2010
  • Currently 5.54/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (28)

Answering Machine Message 43


Militaristic mechanical voice: FOXTROT-LIMA-ALPHA-SIERRA-HOTEL. KEY-DESTRUCT-SEQUENCE-NOW. THIS-TERMINAL-ALSO-ACCEPTS-VOICE-MESSAGES.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 19 October 2011
  • Currently 4.21/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (14)

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