Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Sunday, 29 December 2013

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 29 December 2013

One line jokes-Tennis player

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 2.38/10

Rating: 2.4/10 (8)

A New Yorker was forced to tak...

A New Yorker was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the rest of the afternoon and he would have to return the next day.
"What for?!?!?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query, roared out loud: "Twenty dollars contempt of court! That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented:
"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I know. But I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 3.57/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (7)

SLIDESHOW #57 - Funny Photo Slideshow

twins

When I was born, the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look ... twins!"

--- Rodney Dangerfield

#joke #short #doctor
  • Currently 3.13/10

Rating: 3.1/10 (8)

Fish says, "Duuuuude!"

What does a fish use to get high?

Seaweed!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (9)

Why was the orange s...

“Why was the orange sad? He had peelings for the apple.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 5.87/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (15)

Answering Machine Message 97


"Camptown Races":
I can't come to the telephone; doo-dah, doo-dah.
Leave your message when you hear the tone; oh, de doo-dah day.
Might be gone all night... Might be gone all day...
So leave a message when you hear the tone.
I'll call you back someday...

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 28 July 2011
  • Currently 2.62/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (42)

Hymns for All Professions

Dentist's Hymn: Crown Him with Many Crowns
Weatherman's Hymn: There Shall Be Showers of Blessings
Contractor's Hymn: The Church's One Foundation
Tailor's Hymn: Holy, Holy, Holy
Golfer's Hymn: There's a Green Hill Far Away
Politician's Hymn: Standing on the PromisesOptometrist's Hymn: Open My Eyes That I Might See
IRS Agent's Hymn: I Surrender All
Gossip's Hymn: Pass It On
Electrician's Hymn: Send The Light
Shopper's Hymn: Sweet By and By
Realtor's Hymn: I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop
Massage Therapist's Hymn: He Touched Me
Doctor's Hymn: The Great Physician

#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 17 January 2010
  • Currently 4.19/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (27)

It seems a farm boy accide...

It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon-load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. "Hey Wilmer!" the farmer yelled. "Forget your troubles. Come in and have a bite with us. Then I'll help you get the wagon up."

"That's mighty nice of you," Wilmer answered. "But I don't think Pa would like me to."

"Aw, come on." the farmer insisted.

"Well okay," the boy finally agreed, and added, "But Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Wilmer thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" the neighbor said with a smile. "By the way, where is your Pa?"

Wilmer replied, "Under the wagon."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 December 2009
  • Currently 6.81/10

Rating: 6.8/10 (67)

Whitney Cummings: Naked Photo Texts

I have girlfriends who will text message naked photos of themselves to their man. Which, I guess the whole point of that is, to be like, Heres whats waiting for you at home, big boy. If I was to do a heres whats waiting for you at home photo shoot, I would take some pictures of the frigging dishes, the bills right now. My vaginas not waiting for you at home at all.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 December 2011
  • Currently 4.30/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (63)

Chuck Norris originally appear...

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch," Chuck replied, "That's no glitch."
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 December 2011
  • Currently 2.86/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (42)

Shut Up and Trouble were walki...

Shut Up and Trouble were walking down a path. Trouble got lost. So, Shut Up went to the police officer. The police officer asked, "What's your name?"
He answered, "Shut Up."
He asked again "What's your name?"
"Shut Up."
The police officer asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
"Yeah, I lost him down a path about two miles ago."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 29 December 2011
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (30)

A brunette who really hated bl...

A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars.

'Every blonde in the world will get two million.' The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man.

'Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men.'

The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. 'Now for your third wish.' said the genie.

'See that stick over there?', asked the brunette, 'I want you to beat me half to death with it.'

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 02 November 2009
  • Currently 5.82/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (72)

On A Safari

Mr. and Mrs. Morrison were on a safari in Africa.
As they were walking through the jungle, a huge lion comes creeping out towards them, ready to pounce.
"Shoot!" Mrs. Morrison screamed to her husband. "Shoot!!"
"I can't!" he yelled back. "I'm all out of film!"

#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Team Spirit

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach.
"Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 May 2013
  • Currently 8.39/10

Rating: 8.4/10 (41)

Only one kiss per yard

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk.

"That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.

The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."

#joke
  • Currently 8.32/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (19)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.