Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 05 February 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 05 February 2014
  • Currently 9.57/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (81)

“This year I made my ...

“This year I made my Christmas wreath out of Franklin Fir branches. I really like a wreath of Franklin.”

#joke #short #christmas
  • Currently 4.43/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (7)

Fighting for Business

The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS.
He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.
The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read…
Main entrance.

#joke
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (10)

Funny video of the day - The Aeyo - A Rollerblade/Scooter Hybrid

The Aeyo - A Rollerblade/Scooter Hybrid - A new piece of exercise/transportation equipment - a cross between a scooter, a bicycle, and a pair of inline skates. Awesome! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 6.22/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (9)

Second coming


Nikita went into confession and declared, "I'm pregnant."

The priest asked, "How did you get pregnant, my child?"

Nikita answered, "It must have been the second coming."

The priest, shocked by this reply asked, "What makes you think this has anything to do with the Second Coming?"

Nikita replied, "Because I swallowed the first one..."

#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Why did the belt get locked up...

Why did the belt get locked up?
He held up a pair of pants!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (8)

Funny Photo of the day - Sculptures made from plastic dolls

Sculptures made from plastic dolls - Freya Jobbins uses plastic doll parts and toys to "create remarkable humanoid assemblages of faces, heads and larger busts." | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 6.22/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (9)

Lost boots...

There was a little boy in kindergarten. At the end of one cold winter day, when all the other children were leaving, the teacher found him crying, so she asked him what was wrong.

He sobbed, "I can't find my boots."

The teacher looked around the classroom and saw a pair of boots. "Are these yours?"

"No, they're not mine," said the little boy, shaking his head.

The teacher and the boy searched all over the classroom for his boots.

Finally, the teacher gave up, "Are you SURE those boots are not yours?"

"I'm sure," the boy sobbed, "mine had snow on them."

#joke
  • Currently 5.83/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (6)

Answering Machine Message 127


(Frantic violin music:) Hello. You have reached 435-3949. We are currently unable to answer because we are either chasing, or being chased by, bats. Please leave a message.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.14/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (7)

Find number abc

If 76acc - 10ba3 = 663ab find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Hick computer terms

Redneck computer terms

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.

Log Off: Don't add no wood.

Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.

Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.

Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.

Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.

Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.

Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.

Byte: That's what the flies do.

Chip: What to munch on.

Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.

Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.

Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.

Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.

Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.

Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C'mon in.

Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

#joke
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (6)

Divorce

Q: How many divorced men does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None, because they never get the house!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (8)

Chuck Norris drew the line and...

Chuck Norris drew the line and made Johnny Cash walk it.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 May 2013
  • Currently 4.47/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (17)

There were four men, one from ...

There were four men, one from China, Greenland, America and one
from Australia.
One night they were bragging on how good their country are. The
Chinese said, "my country is the best cause we have the great
wall."
The Greenlander said, "no, mine is the best as we have the
greenest greenest grass."
The American said, "no, mine is the best as we have our flag 50
stars and 50 stripes."
The Australian said, "no, mine is the greatest country as we
have the kangaroo which will jump over the great wall, shit on
the greenest greenest grass and wipe its ass on the American
flag."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 05 February 2009
  • Currently 2.29/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (49)

Angry Witch

Q. What do you call an angry Witch?
A. Ribbit

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 05 February 2009
  • Currently 3.21/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (38)

An old man goes to the Wizard ...

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 05 February 2009
  • Currently 4.62/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (26)

Son of a lawyer

While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Adam," replied the second.

"My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Joshua.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.

#joke #doctor #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 05 February 2009
  • Currently 5.91/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (23)

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