Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 06 May 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 06 May 2014
  • Currently 9.61/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (75)

“My mom asked me what...

“My mom asked me what kind cheese I wanted, and I havarti made my decision.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.75/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (4)

Never been to a strip club

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?”

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

“Oh, no,” says Dave. “He's on my bowling team.”

When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”

“She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.”

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says “Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?”

Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.

The cabby turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Bees Love Chinese Mochi Cake

Bees Love Chinese Mochi Cake - Chinese Street Food Adventures: Bee Mochi! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (7)

Language twist

How we twist the English language.
We in India, are capable of tearing apart the English language because we try a bit too hard.
A few gems are listed below - I am sure you will enjoy reading them.
Sports teacher to Std V students - "hey you four, stand together separately."
Geography teacher to Std III students - "If you can't hang that world map, I will hang myself."
English teacher to Std IV students - "When I am in the class, how can you look at the monkeys outside the window?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

Question time....

Mr. Smythe had been giving his second-grade students a short lesson on science. He had explained about magnets and showed them how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. And now it was question time....

"Class," he said, "my name begins with the letter 'M,' and I pick up things....What am I?"

A little boy on the front row said, "You're a mother."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Funny Photo of the day - Perfect location for lunch break

Perfect location for lunch break - With a perfect view | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.67/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (6)

Yo Mama Is So Old


Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

#joke #yomama
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (3)

Bad Investment

Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the prosecution.

The jury was out for nearly a week before they returned to court with the manslaughter verdict.

When Shultz paid the juror, he asked him if it had been hard to persuade the other jurors to get the charge of manslaughter.

"Sure did," the juror replied, "all the others wanted to acquit him."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Can you name the athletes by the picture?

Can you name the athletes by the picture?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Good Blow Jobs

Q: How do you know who gives good blow jobs?

A: Word of mouth.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 4.40/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (5)

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuc...

Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 30 October 2011
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (24)

Morality

If electricity comes from electrons... does that mean that morality comes from morons?

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 May 2011
  • Currently 4.32/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (37)

Team Spirit

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is whether we win together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "when a strike is called, or you're out at first, you don't argue or curse or attack the umpire. Do you understand all that?"
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach.
"Now go over there and explain it to your mother."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 May 2013
  • Currently 7.64/10

Rating: 7.6/10 (28)

A couple pulled into the drive...

A couple pulled into the driveway after their first date. The guy leans over and gives the girl a long, slow kiss. While he's kissing her, he quietly unzips his pants, takes her hand, and puts it on his penis.

When she realizes what it is, she screams, jumps out of the car, and yells back at him as she starts closing the car door, "I've got just two words for you, Drop Dead!!"

"And I've got two words for you too," the guy shrieks, "LET GO!!!!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 06 May 2010
  • Currently 5.11/10

Rating: 5.1/10 (27)

There are no races, only count...

There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 May 2011
  • Currently 2.71/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (24)

Smell the Coffee...

A grandmother was surprised by her seven-year-old helper early one morning. He had made her coffee! She drank what was probably the worst cup of coffee in her entire life. And when she got to the bottom, to her utter amazement, there were three little green, army men in her cup.

Puzzled, she asked, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson answered, "Grandma, you know how it says on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 May 2011
  • Currently 2.93/10

Rating: 2.9/10 (15)

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