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Jokes of the day for Saturday, 10 May 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 10 May 2014
  • Currently 9.59/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (74)

It was the strangest thing...

Out in Kansas, tornadoes often hit with sudden devastation, without warning, and with unusual patterns of destruction. In one case, a house was completely whisked away leaving only the foundation and first floor. A silver-haired farm lady was seen sitting dazed, in a bathtub, the only remaining part of the house left above the floor.

The rescue squad rushed to her aid and found her unhurt. She was just sitting there in the tub, talking to herself. "It was the strangest thing... it was the strangest thing..." she kept repeating dazedly.

"What was the strangest thing, Ma'am?" asked one of the rescuers.

"I was visiting my daughter here, taking a bath, and all I did was pull the plug and the whole darned house suddenly drained away."

#joke
  • Currently 5.20/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (5)

“My wife wanted me to...

“My wife wanted me to take her to visit Northern Canada but I was having Nunavut!”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.10/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (10)

Same colour

When Nancy bought half a dozen underwear for her husband Ned, Ned commented, "What made you buy the same colour honey? People may think I never change my undies."
Nancy asked, "which people?"
The silence was deafening!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Really Funny Jokes - Really Funny jokes, adult jokes, Good jokes, short funny jokes, teacher jokes, affair jokes, kids jokes, doctor jokes, funny pictures
  • Currently 5.82/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (11)

Dentist

A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place.
A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.
He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.
The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist."
The guy, surprised, says "Yes! How did you figure that out?"
"Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands."
One thing led to another and they make love.
After they have done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist."
The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, How did you figure that out?"

"Didn't feel a thing!"

#joke
  • Currently 8.07/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (86)

Answering Machine Message 190


Hi, can I speak to Mark?... Oh, there isn't?... I'm sorry, I must have dialed the wrong number.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 04 October 2013
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (10)

Jack was nimble, Jack was quic...

Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 17 April 2011
  • Currently 5.18/10

Rating: 5.2/10 (11)

FLEX WORDLE

FLEX WORDLE Guess the WORDLE in 3 tries. After each guess, the color of the tiles will change to show how close your guess was to the solution.
Source: Genius Brain Teasers - Jokes Of The Day Partner

Now that we are into renaming ...

Now that we are into renaming things like Mount Diablo, President Obama wants to rename the San Andreas Fault. His suggestion, Bush's Fault.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 24 April 2010
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (8)

Rainbows are what happens when...

Rainbows are what happens when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks Richard Simmons.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 10 May 2012
  • Currently 3.42/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (53)

Chuck Norris does, in fact, li...

Chuck Norris does, in fact, live in a round house.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 May 2011
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (48)

My kids love going to the...

My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.

I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.

"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 May 2009
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (41)

Steven Wright 21

If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I'll let you have the pen!

What do batteries run on?

Are there any questions?

I was cleaning out my closet and I found a swim suit that I had made out of sponges. I remember one time when I wore it. When I got out of the swimming pool nobody could go swimming until I came back.

I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it. You know, you turn it upside down then you turn it back and it starts to snow. I bought one, except this has a snow plow that does it in rows.

[Later] I bought one of those little glass ball things with the snow in it... Just checking.

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 10 May 2012
  • Currently 5.45/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (31)

Chuck Norris drew the line and...

Chuck Norris drew the line and made Johnny Cash walk it.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 May 2013
  • Currently 4.47/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (17)

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