Join us on WhatsApp
Join us on Viber

Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 04 June 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 04 June 2014

Three men are traveling on a s...

Three men are traveling on a ship, when they are accosted by the Devil. The Devil proposes that if each man drops something into the sea and he cannot find it, he will be that man's slave. If the Devil does find it, however, he will eat that man up. The first man drops a pure, clear diamond, and immediately gets eaten. The second drops an expensive watch, trying to impress the Devil, and gets eaten. The third man fills a bottle with water and pours it into the sea yelling, "You think I'm a fool? Try finding that!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (5)

Big People Words

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk.
"You need to use 'big people' words," she'd always remind them. She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use big people words!" She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a choo-choo."
She said, "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. Use big people words." She then asked Bobby what he had done. "I read a book," he replied.

"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?" Bobby thought about it, then puffed out his little chest with great pride and said, "Winnie the Shit."

#joke
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (12)

SLIDESHOW #17 - Funny Photo Slideshow

“The boxer wasn't a g...

“The boxer wasn't a good comedian. He can't find the right hook.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (10)

Funny video of the day - Vittorio Brumotti’s Road Bike Freestyle

Vittorio Brumotti’s Road Bike Freestyle - Italian trials master Vittorio Brumotti’s amazing tribute to Martyn Ashton‘s ‘Road Bike Party’ series. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (9)

Praise the Lord...

An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations that he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!"

Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for God to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD! God, I need food. I am having a hard time. Please, Lord, send me some groceries."

The next morning, the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!"

The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "HA...HA. I told you there was no Lord! I bought those groceries, myself! God didn't!"

The lady started jumping up and down and clapping her hands and saying, "PRAISE THE LORD! He not only sent me groceries, but He made the Devil pay for them! PRAISE THE LORD!"

#joke
  • Currently 6.11/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (9)

Funny Photo of the day - Busy day at the office

Busy day at the office - It was very productive day | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (7)

Jokes About The Elderly


OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just do it until it Hz
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact
OLD ENERGIZER BUNNIES never die, they go on, and on, and on...
OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings
OLD ENGLISH MAJORS do it with Strunk and White
OLD ENVIRONMENTALISTS never die, they are just recycled
OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just get cold feet
OLD ESKIMOES never die, they just go cold
OLD EXORCISTS never die, they just give up the ghost
OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed
OLD FARMERS never die, they just spade away
OLD FATHERS never die, they just become grandfathers
OLD FISHERMEN never die, their rods just go limp
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just get reel tired
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (5)

Young man and duck

For a boy's 15th birthday, his father gave him a duck, and said, "Go into town and see what you can get with this."

The boy then went in search of the best deal he could find. He first ran into a hooker who offered, "I'll have sex with you if you give me the duck." He agreed. Afterwards, she was so impressed she said, "If you do it again, I'll give you the duck back."

He thought that this was an excellent deal, and agreed.

Since he had his duck back, he continued to walk through town to try to find something else. Suddenly, the duck flew out of his arms and into an oncoming truck.

The driver of the truck was so sorry about killing the duck, he gave the boy 2 dollars.

When the boy arrived home, his father asked what he received for the duck.

His reply: "Well, I got a fuck for a duck, a duck for a fuck, and two bucks for a fucked up duck!"

#joke
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

The Duck and the Condom

Two ducks go on their honeymoon and stay in a hotel. As they are about to make love, the male duck says, ''Oh, we haven't got any condoms. I'll ring down to room service.'' He calls and asks for some condoms.

The woman says, ''OK sir, would you like to put them on your bill?''

''No,'' he says, ''I'll suffocate!''

#joke
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 3.40/10

Rating: 3.4/10 (5)

Three leaders of the big beer ...

Three leaders of the big beer companies meet for a drink. The president of Budweiser orders a Bud. Miller's president orders a Millers and the president of Coors orders a Coors. When it is Guinness turn to order he orders a soda. Why didn't you order a Guinness everyone asks? Nah Guinness replies. If you guys aren't having a beer neither will I.
#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 05 March 2011
  • Currently 6.64/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (11)

The Shopping Criminal

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.

"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened."

#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 04 June 2011
  • Currently 6.88/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (52)

Dan St. Germain: Too Lazy to Kill

I could never be a serial killer because Im way too lazy to follow a pattern. I used to murder women that look like Grandmother but now -- mostly delivery men.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 04 June 2011
  • Currently 2.58/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (52)

The sun sets from fear of Chuc...

The sun sets from fear of Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 04 June 2011
  • Currently 2.69/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (48)

Sheng Wang: Man With a Comb Over

If you can show me a man with a comb over, I can show you a man who thinks that by crushing a bag of chips, you make more chips.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 June 2012
  • Currently 5.69/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (42)

Trivial Pursuit

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature".

Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?

She thought for some time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 04 June 2012
  • Currently 6.49/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (37)

Faking Your Age

A 60-year-old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment, one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23-year-old beauty.
“Simple,” grins the millionaire, “I faked my age.'
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
'Well,' he replied, 'I said I was 87!'

#joke
Joke | Source: Friars Club - For over 25 years the Sunshine Committee has been providing entertainment, companionship and love to children's and senior citizens centers in the NY area.
  • Currently 6.43/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (14)

Every night, after dinner, a m...

Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night.
He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him, for his constant nights out, and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry continued his nightly routine.
One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior, and was particularly distraught by it all.
The friend listened to her, and then said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently, when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words, and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways."
The wife thought that might be a good idea.
That night, Harry took off again, after dinner. And, about midnight, he arrived home, in his usual condition.
His wife heard him at the door, and quickly went to it, and opened the door, and let Harry in.
This time, instead of berating him, as she had always done, she took his arm, and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him, and started to cuddle him a little. After a little while, she said to him, "It's pretty late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed, now, don't you think?"
At that, Harry replied, in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll be getting in trouble with the stupid wife when I get home anyway!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Jokes Archive

NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.