Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 06 August 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 06 August 2014
  • Currently 9.47/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (45)

Q: How do you make a tissue da...

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 5.25/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (4)

“The tap dancer's rou...

“The tap dancer's routine ran hot and cold.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (6)

Railroad

A man who had spent his whole life in the desert visited a friend. He'd never seen a train or the tracks they run on. While standing in the middle of the RR tracks, he heard a whistle, but didn't know what it was. Predictably, he's hit and is thrown, ass-over-tea-kettle, to the side of the tracks, with some minor internal injuries, a few broken bones, and some bruises.
After weeks in the hospital recovering, he's at his friend's house attending a party. While in the kitchen, he suddenly hears the teakettle whistling. He grabs a baseball bat from the nearby closet and proceeds to batter and bash the teakettle into an unrecognizable lump of metal. His friend, hearing the ruckus, rushes into the kitchen, sees what's happened and asks the desert man, "Why'd you ruin my good tea kettle?"

Conway Scenic Railroad

The desert man replies, "Man, you gotta kill these things when they're small."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (3)

The black eye...

Mr. Bailey saw his son's shiner and demanded, "Scott, who gave you that black eye?"

"No one gave it to me dad," replied the spunky lad. "I had to fight for it."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Knock Knock Collection 085


Knock Knock
Who's there?
Henrietta!
Henrietta who?
Henrietta toadstool but thought it was a mushroom!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hepburn!
Hepburn who?
Hepburn and indigestion!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Herman!
Herman who?
Herman is handsome!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hiawatha!
Hiawatha who?
Hiawatha very bad today!
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hiram!
Hiram who?
Hiram fine, how are you!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (3)

Racists & Light Bulbs

Q: How many racists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. They don't want to be enlightened.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.80/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (5)

CINEMANIA: Guess the movie title

See negative of movie scene and guess the title. Length of words in solution: 10
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Point and Laugh

What are two things you should never do in bed?

Point and Laugh!

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 14 February 2013
  • Currently 4.22/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (9)

A passenger in a taxi leaned o...

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, and then the still shaking driver said, "I'm sorry but you scared the daylights out of me."

The frightened passenger apologized to the driver and said he didn't realize a mere tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much.

The driver replied, "No, no, I'm sorry, it's entirely my fault. Today is my first day driving a cab. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 August 2013
  • Currently 7.83/10

Rating: 7.8/10 (30)

Golf in Heaven

Bill, the avid golfer, contacts a "Medium" and asks if there is a golf course in Heaven.

The Medium says that his request is a big order, but he will try and find out and get back to him in a few days.

After several days go by, Bill finally gets a call from the Medium.

"Well," said Bill, "What did ya find out?"

"I've got good news and bad news for you," said the Medium.

"OK, what's the good news?" Bill exclaimed.

"Well, there is a beautiful 36 hole golf course in Heaven, and you'll have 24 hour access with your own personal caddy," blurted out the Medium!!

"And the bad news?" asked Bill.

"You're due to tee-off this Sunday at around 10:30 in the morning," the Medium said!

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
  • Currently 7.13/10

Rating: 7.1/10 (24)

Three Vampires Go To A Bar

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."
The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."
The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
  • Currently 5.60/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (20)

Michael Ian Black: Ambien Racing Game

Heres how you play: on your drive home tonight... when you get, like, 15, 20 minutes away from your house, take an Ambien -- and then just try to beat it. Really fun, and it makes the last part of the drive go really fast, you guys.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
  • Currently 4.75/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (20)

Worst reply of a proposal...

Girl: I love you!
Boy: Hmm... And tell me, whats up??
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 August 2011
  • Currently 4.95/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (19)

PREVIOUS DAY
NEXT DAY
Follow jokes of the day on social networks
NOTE: All jokes on this web site are property of the sites they are collected from. Web site Jokes of the day is not responsible for content of jokes. We are not trying to offend, just looking for a good laugh!! If you are offended by any of the jokes, please complain to the site jokes are coming from.
This site uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some are essential to help the site properly. Others give us insight into how the site is used and help us to optimize the user experience. See our privacy policy.

Jokes Archive