Jokes of the day for Saturday, 23 August 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 23 August 2014
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (75)

An old man is afraid that his ...

An old man is afraid that his wife is loosing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, "Can you hear me?" She didn't answer. He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer. Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "for the third time yes!!!"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (7)

Homework help...

Dad, will you help me with my homework?"

"I'm sorry," replied the father. "It wouldn't be right."

"Well, " said the boy, "at least you could try."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.56/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (9)

Funny video of the day - Top 10 Funny Baby Videos Compilation 2014

Top 10 Funny Baby Videos Compilation 2014 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.50/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (8)

Rhoids

"How are your hemorrhoids?"

"Swell."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Q: Why is a river rich? A: Bec...

Q: Why is a river rich? A: Because it has two banks.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.86/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - The smallest burger in the world

The smallest burger in the world | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.71/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (7)

“Hemlock is a special...

“Hemlock is a special attachment on a sewing machine.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.67/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (6)

Answering Machine Message 135


Hi, you've reached 474-2340. Don, Kendy and Sylvia can't come to the phone right now because they've been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by android duplicates. You could leave your name and number at the tone, but I wouldn't -- you might be next! (evil laugh)

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (6)

Calculate the number 7350

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 7350 using numbers [8, 9, 3, 6, 88, 621] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Bike

A Priest was about to finish his tour of duty in the jungle where he has spent years teaching the natives to be civilized and kind to each other when he realizes that the one thing he never taught them was how to speak English.

So he takes the chief for a walk in the forest. He points to a tree and says to the chief, "This is a tree."
The chief looks at the tree and grunts, "Tree."
The Priest is pleased with the response. They walk a little further and he points to a rock and says, "This is a rock."
Hearing this, the chief looks and grunts, "Rock."
The Priest was really getting enthusiastic about the results when he hears a rustling in the bushes. As they peek over the top, he sees a couple of natives in the midst of heavy sexual activity.
The Priest is really flustered and quickly responds, "Man riding a bike."
The chief looks at the couple briefly, pulls out his blowgun and kills them both..
The Priest goes ballistic and yells at the chief that he has spent years teaching the tribe how to be civilized and be kind to each other, so how could he kill these people in cold blood that way?
The chief replied, "My bike."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 20 September 2012
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (8)

Bingo sign

How do you get 500 old cows in a barn?

Put up a Bingo sign.

Submitted by Curtis

Edited by Calamjo

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 01 April 2011
  • Currently 5.85/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (26)

Sister Mary Ann

Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was making her rounds. She was visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas.
As luck would have it, a gas station was just a block away. She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned
Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car. She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station, filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.
As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said, "If it starts, I'm becoming Catholic."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 23 August 2009
  • Currently 6.55/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (38)

Blondes kids

A blonde was with her husband shopping and she decided that they would shop in different parts of the mall.

They meet in the middle 2 hours later and she announces, "I just got kids."

The husband stares amazed, looking at the kids he says, "Those are 2 baby goats!"

Submitted by bomberman255

Edited by Calamjo, Curtis and yisman

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 23 August 2010
  • Currently 2.97/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (37)

Lavell Crawford: Get to Heaven

If I get to Heaven and God is white, Id be like, I knew it all along. Show me to the hood. But if I get to Heaven and God is black, thats going to piss me off a little bit. Id be like, Aint this a bitch? Youve been black all along? Aint you been seeing what the hells going on down there?
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 August 2011
  • Currently 3.77/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (26)

Chuck Norris once sued Burger ...

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 23 August 2011
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (21)

Auctions and golf...

A wife and husband both talked in their sleep. She loved auctions; his hobby was golf.

The other night, as they slept, the golfer yelled, "Fore!"

His wife yelled back, "Four and a quarter !"

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 August 2008
  • Currently 3.88/10

Rating: 3.9/10 (16)

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