Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 26 August 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 26 August 2014
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (73)

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?...

Q: Why is diarrhea hereditary?
A: It runs in your genes.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (6)

“In-laws are merger a...

“In-laws are merger acquisitions.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Funny video of the day - The Luckiest People In The World

The Luckiest People In The World - AMAZING!! The Luckiest People In The World Compilations NEW 2014 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.88/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (8)

Learning by example...

Little Johnny was caught swearing by his teacher.

"Johnny," she said, "you shouldn't use that kind of language. Where did you hear such talk, anyway?"

"My daddy said it," he responded.

"Well, that doesn't matter," explained the teacher. "You don't even know what it means."

"I do, too!" Little Johnny retorted. "It means the car won't start."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 4.78/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (9)

Lightbulb Joke Collection 24


Q: How many Capricorns does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: Why should I bother? It's probably just going to burn out again tomorrow anyway.
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: A hundred, but they'll all be competing to be the one to change the bulb and bring light to the world.
Q: How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you ? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: Huh? The light's out?
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: What lightbulb?
Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None: They concern themselves with inner light.
Q: How many Arians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.00/10

Rating: 7.0/10 (7)

Funny Photo of the day - Hammer murderer

Hammer murderer | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (6)

Does it hurt when you do this?

Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?

Patient: Yes.

Doctor: Well, don't do that.

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (9)

Say What Again?

Did you hear about the blonde who didn't catch the joke?

It went over her head!

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 5.64/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (11)

What a winning combination?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Number Jokes

A man is sent to prison for the first time. At night, the lights in the cell block are turned off, and his cellmate goes over to the bars and yells, "Number twelve!" The whole cell block breaks out laughing. A few minutes later, somebody else in the cell block yells, "Number four!" Again, the whole cell block breaks out laughing.

The new guy asks his cellmate what's going on. "Well," says the older prisoner, "we've all been in this here prison for so long, we all know the same jokes. So we just yell out the number instead of saying the whole joke."

So the new guy walks up to the bars and yells, "Number twenty-nine!" This time the whole cell block rocks with the loudest laughter, prisoners rolling on the floor laughing hysterically.

When the guffaws die down, the bewildered new guy turns to the older prisoner and asks, "How come you guys were laughing so hard this time?"

"Oh," says the older man wiping tears from his eyes, "we'd never heard that one before."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 03 August 2012
  • Currently 4.61/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (33)

Tig: Where Would You Go?

I was at a party, and this guy was hitting on me, and hes hitting on me with the most boring questions. One of them was, If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? And I was like, Anywhere? He was like, Anywhere. I was like, Uh -- to the other side of the room. Now, please, get out of the way of a woman and her dream.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 26 August 2010
  • Currently 5.78/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (37)

Barbie and Paris

Q: What do Barbie and Paris Hilton have in common?

A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 26 August 2013
  • Currently 5.29/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (31)

Blonde Light

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Put a flashlight in her ear.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 26 August 2011
  • Currently 4.04/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (27)

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