Jokes of the day for Thursday, 28 August 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 28 August 2014
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (78)

There are three blondes who ar...

There are three blondes who are on a road trip. As they are driving through the desert, their car breaks down. They have no phone to call anyone, so they decide to walk to the nearest city, several miles away. They each decide to take one thing to make the journey better. The first blonde takes the radio and says, "If we get bored, we can put the radio on and listen to music." The second blonde decides to take a wheel, "In case one of us gets really tired, we can go inside the wheel and be rolled." The third blonde takes the car door, "In case it gets too hot, we can roll down the window!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.55/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (11)

“With copper unavaila...

“With copper unavailable, continued operation of the mint would make no cents.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (6)

Funny video of the day - Top 5 Best ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Fails

Top 5 Best ALS Ice Bucket Challenge Fails - Top selection of people failing doing Ice Bucket Challange - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 4.57/10

Rating: 4.6/10 (7)

Watch For Fallen Rocks

Driving down a remote road, a motorist sees a sign that says: "Watch For Fallen Rocks."

A couple of miles of careful driving later, he spots some pebbles and stops to pick a few up. Arriving in the next town, the motorist carries the stones into the highway maintenance office.

Placing them on the counter, he says to an official: "Here are your fallen rocks. Now where's my watch?"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 5.50/10

Rating: 5.5/10 (8)

Drunken argument...

Two drunks are walking along. One drunk says to the other, "What a beautiful night. Look at that moon!"

The other drunk stops and looks at his drunk friend. "You are wrong. That's not the moon; that's the sun!"

Both continued arguing for awhile when they came upon another drunk walking along. So they stopped him and said, "Sir, could you please help settle our argument? Tell us what that thing is up in the sky that's shining. Is it the moon or the sun?"

The third drunk look at the sky and then looked at them and said, "Sorry, I don't live around here."

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.60/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (10)

Funny Photo of the day - Just get in the car, Alice

Just get in the car, Alice - I will explain on the way | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 5.63/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (8)

Answering Machine Message 187


Hello, we are all currently home, but someone stole our phone... And the recording tape from this answering machine. So you can't reach us until we either find a phone or get a tape. If you had to waste a quarter on this call... Sorry.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.00/10

Rating: 4.0/10 (3)

Black Jew

Q: What did Hitler say to the black Jew?

A: Get to the back of the oven.

Submitted by wavesk8er102

Edited by Curtis

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 03 October 2012
  • Currently 3.67/10

Rating: 3.7/10 (12)

Feed me and I live, yet give m...

Feed me and I live, yet give me a drink and I die.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Inertia is a property of Chuck...

Inertia is a property of Chuck Norris.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 August 2011
  • Currently 2.63/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (32)

Dov Davidoff: Starbucks Service

I said, Thats the wrong drink. And he said, Sorry, dude, Im tired. And I was like, Have a frickin coffee, man. Thats why Im here.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 August 2011
  • Currently 3.55/10

Rating: 3.5/10 (31)

The Reporter

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on

his first assignment one day. He submitted the following

report to his editor.

"Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is

recovering in County Hospital with lacerations on her

breasts."

The Editor scolded the new reporter, saying. "This is a

family paper. We don't use words like breasts around here.

Now go back and write something more appropriate!"

The young reporter thought long and hard. Finally he handed

the Editor the following report. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a

one-car accident today. She is recovering in County Hospital

with lacerations on her ( o )( o ) "

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 August 2011
  • Currently 3.04/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (23)

Pokemon for Adults

Q: What do you get when you cross Pikachu with porn?

A: Pikascrew.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 28 August 2013
  • Currently 3.04/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (23)

A Horoscope For The Workplace

Astrology tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, and what you watch on TV. Well, the Corporate Zodiac goes a step further: simply by your job title, people will have you all figured out…

MARKETING: You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, concentrating instead on drinking and socializing, which is pretty much what your job responsibilities are now. Least compatible with Sales.

SALES: Laziest of all signs, often referred to as “marketing without a degree,” you are also self-centered and paranoid. Unless someone calls you and begs you to take their money, you like to avoid contact with “customers” so you can ” concentrate on the big picture.” You seek admiration for your golf game throughout your life.

TECHNOLOGY: Unable to control anything in your personal life, you are instead content to completely control everything that happens at your workplace. Often even YOU don't understand what you are saying, but who the heck can tell?! It is written that the geeks shall inherit the Earth.

ENGINEERING: One of only two signs that actually studied in school, it is said that ninety percent of all personal ads are placed by engineers. You can be happy with yourself: your office is typically full of all the latest “ergodynamic” gadgets.

ACCOUNTING: The only other sign that studied in school, you are mostly immune from office politics. You are the most feared person in the organization; combined with your extreme organizational traits, the majority of rumors concerning you say that you are completely insane.

HUMAN RESOURCES: Ironically, given your access to confidential information, you tend to be the biggest gossip within the organization. Possibly the only other person that does less work than marketing, you are unable to return any calls today because you have to get a haircut, have lunch, and mail a letter!

MIDDLE MANAGEMENT/DEPARTMENT MANAGEMENT/”TEAM LEADS”: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other “Middle Managers,” as everyone in your social circle is a “Middle Manager.”

SENIOR MANAGEMENT: Catty, cut-throat, yet completely spineless, you are destined to remain at your current job for the rest of your life. Unable to make a single decision you tend to measure your worth by the number of meetings you can schedule for yourself. Best suited to marry other “Senior Managers,” as everyone in your social circle is a “Senior Manager.”

CUSTOMER SERVICE: Bright, cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent cab ride from taking your own life. As a child very few of you asked your parents for a little cubicle for your room and a headset so you could pretend to play “Customer Service.” Continually passed over for promotions, your best bet is to date your boss.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 August 2011
  • Currently 4.88/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (17)

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