Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 17 December 2014
  • Currently 9.54/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (115)

Why Men Wear Earrings

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring.
This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in "fashion sense."
The man walks up to him and says, "I didn't know you were into earrings."
"Don't make such a big deal out of this, it's only an earring," he replies sheepishly.
His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, "So, how long have you been wearing one?"
"Ever since my wife found it in my truck..."  

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

“The third degree is

“The third degree is a diploma for successful criminals.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Funny video of the day - Ultimate Girls Fails of the Year 2014

Ultimate Girls Fails of the Year 2014 - The ULTIMATE girls fails compilation of the year! Guys aren't the only ones guilty of epic fails, we've collected the funniest girls fails of 2014 and compiled them all here. Sit back, grab a snack and enjoy! - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Applicant at interview

An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school.
"Tell me," inquired the interviewer, "where do you expect to be ten years from now?"
"Well, let's see," replied the student. "It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Well what was that for?

An old couple were sitting on the porch one afternoon rocking in their rocking chairs. All the sudden the old man reaches over and slaps his wife.

She says, "Well what was that for?"

He says, "Thats for 40 years of rotten sex!"

She doesn't reply and they start rocking again.

All the sudden the old lady reaches up and slaps her husband.

He says, "Well what was that for?"

She says, "That's for knowing the difference!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Funny Photo of the day - Baby body elf costume

Baby body elf costume - Kid is ready for Christmas | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

 Answering Machine Message 260


Now I lay me down to sleep;
Leave a message at the beep.
If I die before I wake,
Remember to erase the tape.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Santa accessed someones facebook account

Somebody forgot to set his privacy settings.... Think this is how he got the red nose?
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.32/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (19)

I am a seven lettered word; ...

I am a seven lettered word; my first three letters refer to a place a driver sits in a bus. My first five letters refer to a small room on a ship; my middle three letters is a container people put waste in. My last three letters refer to one which catches fish. My whole refer to a furniture with doors. What am I?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

You got a lot of balls

You've got a lot of balls coming in here dressed like that
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Mc Joker - Funny jokes creator, hates monday
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Plaster of Parish

A crumbling old church building needed remodeling, so, during his sermon, the preacher made an impassioned appeal looking directly at the richest man in town. At the end of the sermon, the rich man stood up and announced, "Pastor, I will contribute $1,000."
Just then, plaster fell from the ceiling and struck the rich man on the shoulder.
He promptly stood back up and shouted, "Pastor, I will increase my donation to $5,000."
Before he could sit back down, plaster fell on him again, and again he virtually screamed, "Pastor, I will double my last pledge."He sat down, and a larger chunk of plaster fell on his head.
He stood up once more and hollered, "Pastor, I will give $20,000!"
This prompted a deacon to shout, "Hit him again, Lord! Hit him again!"
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

When ungulates are making head

When ungulates are making headlines, must be a slow gnus day.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Two brothers were always getti

Two brothers were always getting into trouble in their neighborhood. The people in the neighborhood started complaining to the parents about the boys. So the boys parents decided to have their priest talk to the boys. The priest asks to speak to the boys alone, requesting to see the youngest first. The young boy comes in and sits at a large table across the room from the priest. The priest looks at the boy, points at him and, trying to emphasize that God is in everyone, asks, "Where is God?" The boy looks around the room and back at the priest and says nothing. Again, the priest points at the boy and in a louder voice asks, "Where is God?" The boy says nothing. The priest walks around the table, pointing inches from the boy’s face and asks again, "Where is God?" The boy jumps out of his chair and runs out the door. The boy runs right home, grabs his older brother and says to him, "We are in BIG trouble!" His brother replies, "We haven't done anything!" The younger brother replies, "God's missing, and they think we did it!"
#joke
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

I pulled into the crowded park

I pulled into the crowded parking lot at theSuper Wal-Mart Shopping Center and rolleddown the car windows to make sure myLabrador Retriever Pup had fresh air.
She was stretched full-out on the back seatand I wanted to impress upon her that she mustremain there. I walked to the curb backward,pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically,"Now you stay. Do you hear me?"
"Stay! Stay!"
The driver of a nearby car, a pretty blonde young lady,gave me a strange look and said,
"Why don't you just put it in park?"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Bob Peters

A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his head inside and asked, "Bob Peters here?"

The barber replied, "Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Woman and Santa

A woman had never seen Santa Claus before, but on Christmas Eve night she heard someone come down her chimney so she went downstairs to check it out. ''Oh, it's Santa Claus," she said, "Please stay and chat this is the first time I have met you." Santa replied, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" The lady took off her robe, but Santa said, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" The lady slipped off her nightgown and Santa told her, "Ho ho ho, I need to go. I need to go!" Then the lady removed her panties, and Santa said, ''Hey hey hey, I need to stay. I need to stay, 'cause I can't go up the chimney with my di*k this way!"
#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Those Conceited Bastard Doctors

Q: What is the difference between a brain surgeon and God?

A: God doesn't think he's a brain surgeon!

#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Comedy Central: Jokes - Jokes provided daily from Comedy Central's archive.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

There was a competition to cro...

There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde.
After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers.
When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 17 December 2009
  • Currently 4.78/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (55)

Guns don't kill people. Chuck ...

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 17 December 2011
  • Currently 3.83/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (29)

You Are So Poor - Kicking a Can

You are so poor . . .

When you were kicking a can, your friend came by and asked

what you were doing. You said you were moving!

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 17 December 2011
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (12)

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