Jokes of the day for Monday, 14 December 2015

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 14 December 2015
  • Currently 9.56/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (970)

“A phishing hacker wa

“A phishing hacker was hooked on line by cops!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

A policeman pulled a car over...

A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license," he answered.
"Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk."
Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
#joke #policeman
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Best Videos of the Week 2 December 2015

Best Videos of the Week 2 December 2015 - From fail videos to ice bucket challenges, and soccer tricks to a baby reacting to Katy Perry's Dark Horse. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

A Good Beer...

Q: What do you call a beer that makes you laugh?

A: A Brew Ha Ha

#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (8)

 Waiting On A Long Line


The checkout line at the hardware store was getting longer and longer as the clerk labored to get the new cash register to cooperate.
At one point she wailed "Oh no, NOW what do I do ? It just rang up sixty-four thousand, five hundered seventy four dollars in sales tax on a ten-dollar sale !"
Suprisingly, the customers in front of me didn't seem too upset by the delay.
Some even chuckled sympathetically. It wasn't until I got near the front of the line that I saw the neatly hand-lettered sign in front of the register: WE ARE CURRENTLY DOING BATTLE WITH OUR NEW COMPUTER FOR CONTROL OF THE STORE---WE APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Funny Photo of the day - Christmas decoration in office

Christmas decoration in office - Gives some privacy in open space office | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Phone from 1990-2015

Here we realize we can see p*rn in the mobile
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

A Rabbi, a Minister and a Wiccan Priestess...

A rabbi, a Unitarian Universalist minister, and a Wiccan priestess decided to go on a fishing trip together. They went down to their local lake, rented a boat, and went out on to the lake for a day of fishing.
As the afternoon approached, the trio got hungry—and realized that they left their lunches on the shore of the lake.
The minister got out of the boat, walked across the lake, got his lunch, walked back, and sat down to eat his lunch.
"You should have gotten all of our lunches!" scolded the priestess. She then got up, walked across the lake, picked up her lunch as well as the rabbi's, walked back across the lake, and sat down, handing the rabbi his afternoon meal.
The rabbi at this point is almost out of his mind, his eyes wide with shock. He manages to sputter, "Wha... what... how did you...?"
The minister grins at the priestess, nudges her, and asks "Do you think we should tell him about the rocks?"
The priestess looks at the minister, raises an eyebrow, and replies "What rocks?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Calculate the number 2151

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 2151 using numbers [3, 7, 2, 1, 58, 420] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

After defecting from my presti

After defecting from my prestigious job in Pyongyang, my Korea went south.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Tired of being broke and stuck

Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decides to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with himself as beneficiary, and arranging to have her killed.
A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld figure that went by the name of "Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid something up front. The man opened up his wallet, displaying a single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife into the local Safeway grocery store. There he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled onto the scene.
Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings was captured by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called the police.
Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless husband. And that is why the next day in the newspaper, the headlines declared:
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY"
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Got Cha

On their way home after celebrating their

25th anniversary, she thanks him for a wonderful

evening.

"Oh. it's not over yet", says the husband.

Once in the house, he gives her a little black

velvet box. She opens it in anticipation, "But

what are these two little pills?"

"Aspirin", says he.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Christmas wish

Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those naked girls in papa's computer."
#joke #short #christmas
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

It's wise to remember how easi...

It's wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology canbe misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filledstreets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on abusiness trip and was planning to meet him there the next day.When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife aquicke-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he hadwritten her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in frommemory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directedinstead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passedaway only the day before. When the grieving widow checked here-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercingscream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.
At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this noteon the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrivaltomorrow.
PS. Sure is hot down here.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 December 2009
  • Currently 4.68/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (59)

sdfgdf

dfgsdfg

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 December 2011
  • Currently 4.15/10

Rating: 4.2/10 (33)

One day The Lord came to Adam ...

One day The Lord came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news," The Lord said.

Adam looked at The Lord and said, "Well, give me the good news first."

Smiling, The Lord explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to create new things, solve problems, and have intelligent conversations with Eve. The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will give you great physical pleasure and allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children."

Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"

The Lord looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "You will never be able to use these two gifts at the same time."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 14 December 2010
  • Currently 7.25/10

Rating: 7.3/10 (32)

Godzilla is a Japanese renditi...

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 14 December 2011
  • Currently 4.27/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (26)

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