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Jokes of the day for Monday, 28 December 2015

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 28 December 2015

Pancakes and waffle

“I think every morning that I'm going to make pancakes, but I keep waffling.”

#joke #short
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

Drinking age should be eighteen

The drinking age should be eighteen. When you're eighteen you're old enough to vote. You should be old enough to drink.
Look who we have to vote for! You need a drink!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

SLIDESHOW #87 - Funny Photo Slideshow

The Single Guy...

Man walks into a supermarket and buys :

1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner

The girl at the checkout looks at him and says "Single are you?" The man replies very sarcastically "How did you guess?" She replies "because you're ugly."

#joke
  • Currently 4.27/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (15)

Funny video of the day - Ultimate Fails Compilation 2015 || Best Fails of the Year (Part 2)

Ultimate Fails Compilation 2015 || Best Fails of the Year (Part 2) - Here it is, the second part of our Best Fails of the Year 2015. - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

 Red Fire Fighter


There are four wheels and eight men on a fire engine.
Four and eight makes 12.
There are 12 inches in a ruler.
Queen Elizabeth is a ruler.
The Queen Elizabeth was a ship.
Ships sail in the sea.
The sea has fish.
Fish have fins.
The Finns are always fighting the Russians.
Russians are known as "red".
Fire engines are always rushin', and that's why they're red.

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Funny Photo of the day - Santas and and Hello Kitty celebrate at a Christmas charity event in Seoul, South Korea.

Santas and and Hello Kitty celebrate at a Christmas charity event in Seoul, South Korea. - Because it is no Christmas without Hello Kitty | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

The Pastor's Mother and the Usher

An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he asked politely.

"The front row please." she answered.

"You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor is really boring."

"Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired."No." he said.

"I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked.

"No." she said.

"Good," he answered.
#joke
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Sue reports for jury duty as o...

Sue reports for jury duty as ordered, and promptly asks to be excused because she believes she's prejudice.
"I took one look at those shifty eyes and that cheap polyester suit and I immediately knew that he was guilty as sin."
"Sit down," says the judge. "That's the prosecuting attorney."
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 8.23/10

Rating: 8.2/10 (13)

What Time Is It

BLONDE: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"

MAN: "It's 3:15."

BLONDE: (puzzled look) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."

#joke #short #blonde
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

Yo momma so ugly her pillow cr

Yo momma so ugly her pillow cries at night!
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

One Monday morning a postman i...

One Monday morning a postman is walking the neighbourhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.
"Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night," the postman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighbourhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. We got so drunk around midnight that we started playing 'Who Am I.'"
The postman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"
Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times."
#joke #christmas #monday #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 December 2014
  • Currently 8.69/10

Rating: 8.7/10 (52)

Mr. Baldwin, the biology teach...

Mr. Baldwin, the biology teacher called on Mary, "Can you tell me the part of the body that, under the right conditions, expands to six times it's normal size, and state the conditions."
Mary gasped and said in a huff, "Why, Mr. Baldwin! That is an inappropriate question and my parents are going to hear of it when I get home!" She sat down, red-faced.
"Susan, can you tell me the answer?" asked Mr. Baldwin
"The pupil of the eye, under dark conditions," said Susan.
"Correct. Now Mary, I have three things to say to you. First, you have not studied your lesson. Second, you have a dirty mind. And third, boy are you going to be disappointed someday!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 28 December 2009
  • Currently 6.19/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (47)

Once there was a little boy th...

Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time.The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally,the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why.
The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today.It was you, wasn't it son?"
The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth."
The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 December 2014
  • Currently 9.06/10

Rating: 9.1/10 (34)

A Joke for Kids

Q: Why was Adam a famous runner?

A: Because he was first in the human race.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 28 December 2010
  • Currently 4.76/10

Rating: 4.8/10 (33)

I Want To Appeal A Case

Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."

#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 18 June 2011
  • Currently 5.82/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (44)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep.

Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 01 November 2009
  • Currently 6.61/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (82)

How many did you catch...

A kind-hearted fellow was walking through Central Park in New York and was astonished to see an old man, fishing rod in hand, fishing over a beautiful bed of lillies.

"Tch Tch!" said the passerby to himself. "What a sad sight. That poor old man is fishing over a bed of flowers. I'll see if I can help."

So the kind fellow walked up to the old man and asked, "What are you doing, my friend?"

"Fishin', sir."

"Fishin', eh. Well how would you like to come have a drink with me?"

The old man stood up, put his rod away and followed the kind stranger to the corner bar. He ordered a large glass of beer and a fine cigar.

His host, the kind fellow, felt good about helping the old man, and he asked, "Tell me, old friend, how many did you catch this morning?"

The old fellow took a long drag on the cigar, blew a careful smoke ring and replied, "You are the sixth today, sir!"

#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 September 2015
  • Currently 9.50/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (10)

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