Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 30 December 2015

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 30 December 2015
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Rating: 9.5/10 (1005)

“A sewer is a tailor.

“A sewer is a tailor.”

#joke #short
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Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

A guy gets set up on a blind d...

A guy gets set up on a blind date and he takes her out for dinner to a very expensive restaurant to make a good impression. The waiter approaches the table and asks to take their order.
The lady begins ordering practically everything on the menu, shrimp cocktail, pate, Caesar Salad, lobster, crepes Suzette, with no regard to the price. The guy is getting very upset, as he never thought she would order so much.
She then stops, and looks across at him, and asks, "What do you suggest I wash it down with?"
"Well my dear, how about the Mississippi river?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 6.71/10

Rating: 6.7/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Baby's First Bacon

Baby's First Bacon - Easton tried bacon for the first time Christmas morning and his reaction was priceless! - link to page video is posted initially.
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Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

The lucky old man!

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.

"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."

The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"

So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"

#joke #policeman
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Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

 Blonde Jokes

what do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you?
you pull the pin and throw it back
how does a blonde kill a fish?
she drowns it
how does a blonde kill a worm?
she burys it
how does a blonde kill a bird?
she throws it of a cliff
how do you kill a blonde?
you put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool/you put a condom on top of a flag pole
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
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Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Funny Photo of the day - Selfie with a perfect hairstyle guy

Selfie with a perfect hairstyle guy - The majestic unicorn. I thought they were extinct. | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
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Rating: 8.8/10 (4)

A farting, spinning ungulate i

A farting, spinning ungulate is the sign of a gnu whirled odor.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

An old man was sitting on a bu...

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green,red,orange,blue,and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
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Rating: 8.4/10 (9)

Calculate the number 5159

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 5159 using numbers [7, 4, 6, 6, 67, 433] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Snail visits bar

The landlord of a pub, is just locking up, when there's a ring on the doorbell.

He opens the door, and there's a snail sitting there. "What do you want?" asks the landlord.

The snail replies that he wants a drink.

"Go away, we're closed, and we don't serve snails anyway".

The snail pleads and pleads with the barman to give it a drink, at which the landlord gets fed up, kicks the snail and slams the door.

..... Exactly one year later, he's locking up again, and there's a ring at the doorbell. The landlord opens the door, and looks down to see a snail sitting there. "What do you want" says the landlord.

"What did you do that for" says the snail.

#joke
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

I get a terrible pain...

Patient: "I get a terrible pain in my eye when I drink a cup of coffee."
Doctor: "Try taking the spoon out."
#joke #short #doctor
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

The Best Zen Teacher

Who is the best Zen teacher?
M.T. Ness
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 28 June 2015
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

Two blondes were in a parking ...

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't.

The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 30 December 2009
  • Currently 5.31/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (59)

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris...

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 30 December 2013
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Rating: 4.5/10 (49)

Computer Flatlined..

I work in a busy office, and when a computer goes down it causes quite an inconvenience. Recently one of our computers not only crashed, it made a noise that sounded like a heart monitor.

"This computer has flat-lined," a co-worker called out with mock horror.

"Does anyone here know how to do mouse-to-mouse?"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 December 2010
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Rating: 5.5/10 (29)

I Have A Question


A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?
The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"
Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"
Again, the father repied. "Don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"
The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 30 December 2010
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Rating: 6.5/10 (18)

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