Jokes of the day for Sunday, 10 January 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Sunday, 10 January 2016
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (956)

How I feel on a Monday morning

How I feel on a Monday morning.
#joke #short #monday
Joke | Source: Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 7.50/10

Rating: 7.5/10 (2)

An old Chinese couple was cele...

An old Chinese couple was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. At bed time the old lady looked over at her husband of 4 decades and said, "For our anniversary I want you to pick any sexual pleasure you desire and I will do it".
The old man thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've always wanted to try the 69".
The old Chinese woman stared at her husband with a confused look on her face and said, "You want the beef with rice or chips?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 8.25/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (8)

Funny video of the day - Best Videos of the Week 1 January 2016

Best Videos of the Week 1 January 2016 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Dear John

Dear John,

I have been unable to sleep since I broke off our engagement. Won't you forgive and forget? Your absence is breaking my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.

All my love,

Judi xxxxoooxxxx

P.S. Congratulations on winning this week's lottery.

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 7.91/10

Rating: 7.9/10 (11)

 Answering Machine Message 56


Hello, this is Rip van Winkle. I'm not awake to take your call right now. Please leave your message at the sound of the snore.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.33/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (12)

Funny Photo of the day - Tiny Dril Gun

Tiny Dril Gun | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

Beer brewers are like punsters

Beer brewers are like punsters: they're wort smiths.
#joke #short #beer
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

1. They start paying everyone

1. They start paying everyone in sea shells.
2. The Dairy Queen on the corner is threatening a hostile takeover.
3. When you say, "See you tomorrow," the watchman laughs uncontrollably.
4. The chairman walks by your desk and says, "Hey, Hey! Easy on the staples!"
5. The initials of your company are "G.M."
6. Conference room has been turned into chinchilla farm.
7. Conversations at the water cooler are mainly with yourself.
8. Your boss casually asks you if you know anything about starting fires.
9. You get a lot of memos in Japanese.
10. Your boss asks you not to cash your check until next week.
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 3.17/10

Rating: 3.2/10 (6)

Calculate the number 2755

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 2755 using numbers [6, 6, 6, 2, 75, 477] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Census

A man from the Census Bureau went to a trailer house that

was located up in the hills. When a lady opened the door, he

asked her, "How many people are living here?"

The lady says, "There's me, and Pa, Bobby-Jo, Maggie-Sue,

Darryl-Rae..."

The man interupted her, saying, "I don't need names, just

the numbers."

She replied, "Numbers? We haven't run out of names yet!"

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Q: What happens once in a minu

Q: What happens once in a minute and twice in a moment but never in a decade?
A: The letter "m."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“What is my favorite

“What is my favorite kind of pie on Thanksgiving? Pun kin, of course!”

#joke #short #thanksgiving
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 3.82/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (11)

Ancient Translations

A monk his entire adult life, Brother Andrew was responsible for training new scribes in the art of copying by hand -- word for word -- the holy writs. One day an eager new scribe, Brother Jonathan, asked if anyone had ever made a mistake.
"Oh no," said Brother Andrew. "These words have always been correctly copied from generation to generation." Skeptical, Brother Jonathan asked Brother Andrew how he knew. "My son," said Brother Andrew as he shuffled off toward the monastery's library, "let me get you the first volume ever written, and you will see that it is just as correct today as it was then."Many hours passed. Finally Brother Jonathan decided he had better check on the elderly monk. At the library, he spotted Brother Andrew sitting alone in a candle-lit corner, tears running down his wrinkled cheeks. "What's the matter?" Brother Jonathan asked.
"I can't believe it," Brother Andrew responded, his voice quivering with emotion. "The word is celebrate. Cel-e-BRATE!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 11 November 2014
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

The Perfect Man
The ...

The Perfect Man
The perfect man is gentle
Never cruel and never mean
He has a beautiful smile
And keeps his face so clean.
The perfect man loves children
And will raise them by your side
He will be a good father
And a good husband to his bride.
The perfect man loves cooking
Cleaning and vacuuming too
He'll do anything in his power
To convey his love to you.
The perfect man is sweet
Writing poetry from your name
He's a best friend to your mother
and kisses away your pain.
He will never make you cry
or batter you in any way
To hell with this stupid poem
The perfect man is gay.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 January 2010
  • Currently 4.35/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (57)

Rebecca Corry: False Advertising

I dont believe anything I see on TV. There was that herbal shampoo commercial where the ladies were in the shower using the shampoo, and theyre having orgasms. I went to Costco and bought the family pack of that. I was in the shower all weekend. The shampoo does not cause orgasms -- the bottle does.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 10 January 2011
  • Currently 3.76/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (29)

Be My Valentine

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 10 January 2010
  • Currently 6.55/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (20)

Chelsea Handler: AA Meetings

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics -- Ive never needed a drink more badly in my life.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 10 January 2012
  • Currently 4.65/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (20)

The other day I held...

“The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.”

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 10 January 2014
  • Currently 5.28/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (18)

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