Jokes of the day for Saturday, 23 January 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Saturday, 23 January 2016
  • Currently 9.55/10

Rating: 9.6/10 (809)

Wife and husband have bought c

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavors.
"Darling, I will turn off the light, put one on and you guess the flavor."
As soon as he turns off the light, she takes it in the mouth and says, "Gorgonzola!"
"Wait, it is not on yet."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

Missing fingers....

Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He goes to the emergency room.

The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."

The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"

Jon says, "Well, heck, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."

#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Funny video of the day - Best Fails of the Week 3 January 2016

Best Fails of the Week 3 January 2016 - link to page video is posted initially.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

 School Collection 02


Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

A history joke
What was Camelot?
A place where people parked their camels!

A history joke
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?
Must have been a duck family
A duck family?
Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

An ideal homework excuse
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren't the best teacher in the school
A math joke
Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4?
Pupil: That's not fair!
You answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one!


#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 3.60/10

Rating: 3.6/10 (5)

What Is This?

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, a joke?"
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

Funny Photo of the day - Playing the guitar in front of a volcano

Playing the guitar in front of a volcano | Source : Jokes of The Day - By Jokes of the day visitor
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

The invention of the vacuum cl

The invention of the vacuum cleaner led to rapid in dusty realization.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

It was this little girl's fir

It was this little girl's first day of schooland the teacher asked her what her name was andshe replied, "Happy Butt."
The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you needto go to the principal's office and get thisstraightened out." So she went to the principal'soffice and he asked, "What's your name?"
The little girl said, "Happy Butt."
The principal called the girl's mother to getthis straightened out once and for all. Aftergetting off the phone he looked at the littlegirl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys,not Happy Butt."
The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass, Happy Butt"what's the difference?
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Find number abc

If a1b3b + 2c8bc = 7883a find number abc. Multiple solutions may exist.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Growing old

After 15 years of not having sex, an old couple finally decide that it's about time they did something about their sex life.

After much deliberation they decide to have a n*dist day, they will walk around the house all day with nothing on, and just see what happens.

The next day comes and they decide to have breakfast round the kitchen table without a scrap of clothing on.

After a little while the old lady turns to here husband and says, "By jove I think this is working, I'm getting really turned on!!"

They old man replies, "Well how do you mean love?"

His wife says, "Well I'm getting all hot….. my nipples are red hot!!!"

He replies, "Well I'm not bloody surprised woman! You've got one nipple in your coffee and the other in your porridge!"

Submitted by Calamjo

Edited by Curtis

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Q: Why is Cinderella still a v

Q: Why is Cinderella still a virgin?
A: Because she runs away from all the balls.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Hearing people chew

Hearing people chew makes me want to punch them in the face.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games.
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

“What do you find on

“What do you find on the floor of the mozzarella forest? Cheese sticks.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 1.67/10

Rating: 1.7/10 (6)

Catching Cows

More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"    

#joke
Joke | Source: Jokes of the Day - Originally taken from site that work no more - Get Frank - NZ's Online Men's Lifestyle Magazine for Fashion, Health, Lifestyle, Recreation Articles & Reviews, Funny jokes and photos updated daily
  • Currently 1.80/10

Rating: 1.8/10 (5)

A man runs to the doctor and s...

A man runs to the doctor and says: "Doctor, you've got to help me. My wife thinks she's a chicken!"
The doctor asks: How long was she had this condition?"
"Two years." replies the man.
"Then why did it take you so long to come and see me?" asked the doctor. The man shrugs his shoulders and replies: "We needed the eggs"
#joke #doctor
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 23 January 2010
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (30)

Coffee Maker

The newlywed Blonde went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked; how to plug it in, set the timer, go to bed, and upon rising, the coffee is ready.

A few weeks later the goober was back in the store and the salesman asked her how she liked the coffee maker.

"Wonderful!" she replied, "But... it's just awfully inconvenient to have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee."

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 23 January 2012
  • Currently 6.25/10

Rating: 6.3/10 (28)

Passing A School Bus

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.
"Unlawful to Pass School Bus from Either Direction"
I guess that some people misunderstood that, because now it reads:
"Unlawful to Pass Stopped School Bus from Either Direction".
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 23 January 2011
  • Currently 3.04/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (26)

Blonde jokes-Vac

Deborah, the busty blonde who was on vacation, sent home a postcard.

She writes: Hi folks, me having a great time. Where am I?
#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 23 January 2014
  • Currently 4.90/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (21)

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