Jokes of the day for Wednesday, 06 April 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Wednesday, 06 April 2016
  • Currently 9.52/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1220)

A man walked into the office o

A man walked into the office of an eminent psychiatrist and sat down to explain his problem.
"Doctor, doctor! I've got this problem," the man said. "I keep hallucinating that I'm a dog. It's crazy. I don't know what to do!"
"A common canine complex," said the doctor soothingly. "Relax. Come here and lie down on the couch."
"Oh no, Doctor," the man said nervously, "I'm not allowed up on the furniture."
#joke #doctor
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

“The only thing commo

“The only thing common between a stork and an obstetrician is the long bill.”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

A Recently Spotted Bumper Sticker:

"God, Protect Me From Your Followers."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

Lindt has a new chocolate ball

Lindt has a new chocolate ball; they call them Cocoanuts.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

When asked by their host if sh

When asked by their host if she would like another drink, theattractive blonde bowed her head slightly and said, "No thank you. Myhusband limits me to one drink."
"Why is that," the host asked?
Her reply... "Because after one drink I can feel it; after twodrinks ...anyone can!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Two cannibals

There are two cannibals eating a clown, one turns to the other and says, 'Does this taste funny to you?!'

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Jokes - Used to be - Pacific products joke of the day, but site no longer works.
  • Currently 6.00/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (8)

Calculate the number 905

NUMBERMANIA: Calculate the number 905 using numbers [7, 2, 4, 3, 46, 820] and basic arithmetic operations (+, -, *, /). Each of the numbers can be used only once.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

You Might Be A Redneck If...

You might be a reneck if...
Any time your kids see a dog they get out their ropes and lasso it and tackle it to the ground.
Your master bathroom has the words "porta" and "potty" written on the side.
You can't take a bath in the winter 'cause the stream is frozen.
You only bathe when it rains.
You think "Dueling Banjos" is classical music.
You refer to the Surgeon General's Warning on a pack of cigarettes as your medical encyclopedia.
You go to garage sales to shop for Christmas gifts.
You're 42 and still have clowns come to your birthday party.
You think 'possum is the "other white meat".
Your husband spray paints the upholstery of your car to make it look new.
#joke #christmas
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

17 days

Two young blonde women are sitting at a bar in such an obviously celebratory mood that the bartender drifts over intending to offer them a drink on the house. When he gets close he hears one say to the other "Here's to 17 days!"

Smiling, the bartender says, "Congratulations! What's so special about 17 days?"

Eyes twinkling, one of the women explains, "Well, we've been spending our evenings working on a jigsaw puzzle! And it said 3-5 years on the box, but we finished it in only 17 days!"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Jokes of the day - Taken from Bartender's guide to Jokes, Drinks, and Poker - once good site, no longer active.
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Q: Why did the can crusher qui

Q: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
A: Because it was soda pressing.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Hahahahahaha

The joke is:























!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 06 April 2013
  • Currently 2.11/10

Rating: 2.1/10 (35)

Maria Bamford: Fulfilling Potential

Im afraid that fulfilling my potential would really cut into my sitting around time.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 06 April 2012
  • Currently 4.41/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (32)

Three men were discussing at a...

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said, " my wife was reading a "tale of two cities" and she gave birth to twins"
"That’s funny", the second man remarked, "my wife was reading 'the three musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets"
The third man shouted, "Good God, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, " When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali baba and the forty Thieves"!!!
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 April 2015
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (30)

This reminds me of something y...

This reminds me of something yesterday at work. A colleague was relating a conversation he had with his young daughter, just a bit over 2 years old. They were discussing geography and…
“Where does mommy live?”
“Minneapolis.”
“Where does grandma live?”
“Baltimore.”
“Where does grandpa live?”
“Baltimore.”
“And where does daddy live?”
“At work!”
Needless to say, he took the morning off that next […]
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 06 April 2010
  • Currently 5.87/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (23)

Truman at the Washington Garden Club....

Harry Truman was known for his blunt manner of speaking. When he made a speech at the Washington Garden Club, he kept referring to the "good manure" that needed to be used on the flowers.

Some society women complained to his wife, Bess. "Couldn't you get the President to say 'fertilizer'?" they asked.

Mrs. Truman replied, "Heavens, no! It took me twenty-five years to get him to say 'manure.'"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 06 April 2009
  • Currently 5.76/10

Rating: 5.8/10 (17)

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