Jokes of the day for Friday, 22 April 2016

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Friday, 22 April 2016
  • Currently 9.53/10

Rating: 9.5/10 (1077)

Dear Pun Gents Dear Pun Gents, We need a name for our joint bachelor & bachelorette party. it will be a field day with bride and groom teams competing in various games. Teams are co-ed and not guys vs girls. ~Tania
#joke #short

Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Taxiing down the tarmac, the j

Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around, and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off.
A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?"
"The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant, "and it took us a while to find a new pilot."
#joke
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

“What do mice wear on

“What do mice wear on their feet? Squeakers!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun of the Day - Funny puns and jokes - the largest collection of humorous puns on the internet. New pun added daily.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

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Karma the Pet Snake

Tickle Nhat Hahn: Have you met my pet snake "Karma"?
Swami Mahahaharaj: Why would you name a snake "Karma"?
Tickle Nhat Hahn: Because he used to be a lawyer.
#joke #short #lawyer
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 2.33/10

Rating: 2.3/10 (3)

A man was walking in the stree

A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: ''Stop! Standstill! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head andkill you.''
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man wasastonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.Once again the voice shouted: ''Stop! Stand still! If you take one morestep a car will run over you and you will die.''
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around thecorner, barely missing him. ''Where are you?'' the man asked. ''Who areyou?''
''I am your guardian angel,'' the voice answered.
''Oh yeah?'' the man asked... ''And where the hell were you when I gotmarried?''
#joke
Joke | Source: jokes warehouse - Animal jokes, Blonde jokes, doctor jokes, drunk jokes and jokes of the day
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

Bedtime prayers

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents.

At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

To which the little brother replied, "No, but Gramma is!"

#joke
Joke | Source: http://www.pacprod.com/ - Pacific products joke of the day
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Guess the Band Name

Which musician band has an album with a cover as in the picture?
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

 AOL Addiction Poem


My computer broke down.
It crashed and burned!
And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy...
And keep it off my mind.
It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc.
The cashier in electronics was staring at me.
But I didn't care. I had to get on line! Check my mail, and see what buddies I can find.
I drew a crowd as I began to cry.
I couldn't find the password no matter how hard I tried! I need my AOL!! I got to have my fix!!
Go to my favorite places, check out some cool pics.
The cashier called Security! I heard her whisper low, "We have ourselves a Psycho here and she has got to go!"
Security rushed over. Not long did he stall.
Obviously he has never suffered from AOL withdrawal. He slapped cuffs on my wrists and threw me out the door!
Then he looked at me and said, "Don't come round here no more!"
I feel so embarrassed!! I have sunk so low! To be kicked out of Wal-Mart.... How low can I go?
So I'll try really hard now to rid myself of this affliction.
Get rid of these bad habits and my AOL addiction!

#joke
Joke | Source: Joke of the Day - Jokes served hot and fresh daily.
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

The goal of the game is to color all the 25 squares. Clicking will invert clors of all the sqauers within the shape of pattern.
The game is designed for all ages and stimulate children's creativity and reasoning.

Are you talking to me?

At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?"

The witness stared out the window, as though he hadn't heard the question.

"Isn't it true that you accepted five thousand dollars to compromise this case?" the lawyer repeated.

The witness still did not respond.

Finally, the judge leaned over and said, "Sir, please answer the question."

"Oh," the startled witness said, "I thought he was talking to you."

#joke #lawyer
Joke | Source: The Bartender's guide - Jokes, Drinks, and Poker
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

A man and a woman are sleeping

A man and a woman are sleeping together when suddenly there is a noise in the house, and the woman rolls over and says, "It's my husband, you have to leave!" The man jumps out of bed, jumps through the window, crawls through the bushes, and out on the street, when he realizes something. He goes back to the house and says to the woman, "Wait, I'm your husband!" She replies giving him a dirty look, "So why did you run?"
#joke
Joke | Source: Laugh Factory Network - Watch our huge library of the best stand-up comedy videos, get information on our stand-up comedians, read our joke of the day
  • Currently 6.50/10

Rating: 6.5/10 (4)

I will not forget

I will not forget… I will not forget…
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Minion Quotes - Despicable Me Minions is a website dedicated to minions. Have a good time reading minion quotes, funny quotes or entertain yourself playing minion games.
  • Currently 2.00/10

Rating: 2.0/10 (4)

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl stri...

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 22 April 2011
  • Currently 3.75/10

Rating: 3.8/10 (16)

Blondes working on a house

Two blondes were working on a house. The one

who was nailing down siding would reach into

his nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss

it over his shoulder or nail it in. The other,

figuring this was worth looking into, asked,

"Why are you throwing those nails away?"

The first explained, "If I pull a nail out

of my pouch and it's pointed toward me, I throw

it away 'cause it's defective. If it's pointed

toward the house, then I nail it in!"

The second blonde got completely upset and

yelled, "You moron! The nails pointed toward

you aren't defective! They're for the other side

of the house!"

#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 22 April 2013
  • Currently 3.31/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (16)

Demetri Martin: Thought You Were Someone Else

I was walking down the street, and this guy waved to me. Then he came up to me and said, Im sorry, I thought you were someone else. I said, I am.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 22 April 2012
  • Currently 2.20/10

Rating: 2.2/10 (15)

What are you doing this evening?

Rebecca, the curvy blonde secretary, came out from the cabin of her boss. She was shaking with anger, so a colleague asked her what was wrong.

Rebecca said,"The Boss asked me what was I doing this evening."

The colleague asked, "So what did you say?"

Rebecca answered, "I said I was doing nothing. He gave me 50 pages to type!"
#joke #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 22 April 2014
  • Currently 6.86/10

Rating: 6.9/10 (14)

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