Jumbo jetA man looked at the menu at the airport restaurant, and saw that the sandwiches were named for planes.
"I'll have a 'jumbo jet'," he said.
When the order arrived, he was disappointed to see how small his burger was, but he ate it anyway.
He called his waiter over. "Was that the 'jumbo jet'?" he asked.
"Yeah," the waiter answered. "Went pretty fast, didn't it?"
“To expectorate is ba
“To expectorate is bad grammar, because it is a spit infinitive.”
Phoenix is so dry because itPhoenix is so dry because it's in an arid zone-a.
Cat Jokes 05
Q: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?
A: A catastrophe!
Q: Who was the most powerful cat in China?
A: Chairman Miaow!
Q: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?
A: A cat-a-logue!
Q: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?
A: An octopuss!
Q: Why did the cat join the Red Cross?
A: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
Q: When the cat's away.....?
A: The house smells better!
Q: Why was the cat so small?
A: Because it only ate condensed milk!
Q: Why did the cat cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!
After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting.
Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go?
The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round ... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was.
The second was a blonde lady who quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders.
The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders.
The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long.
The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left.
He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "Riders"?"
The bartender simply smiled and said..."A 'Rider" is when you hit a shot long enough to ride on the golf cart to your ball.
What do you call....
Q: What do you call a bunch of rabbits in a row all hopping backwards? <p> A: A receding hare line
Find number abc
Anthony Jeselnik: Gift for Who?A couple of months ago, I gave my girlfriend some fancy lingerie, and she actually got mad at me. She said, Anthony, I think this is more of a gift for you than it is for me. And I said, If you want to get technical, it was originally a gift for my last girlfriend.
Jeff Dunham: Sissy-ness of the LawWalter: I aint afraid of the cops around Santa Ana. You seen some of these guys? What, cops on bicycles? How intimidating is this: Alright buddy, pull it over. Ching-ching-ching? What do they do when they arrest somebody? Alright, get in the basket.
Little Emily was complaining t...Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, “That’s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."
DarkTwo Rednecks were sitting at the rural area bar, lamenting their lack of a sex life.
One looks out the window, and across the road is a sheep stuck half way through a fence, with its butt facing the tavern.
One drunk says, "I sure wish that sheep was Marilyn Monroe."
The other says, "I just wish it were dark."
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman